You want to do everything for the one you love because… you love them. But take a look at your relationship. Do you get back all you give? Things don’t need to be 100% equal all of the time, but balance is key to a healthy relationship. If you think your relationship is becoming one-sided and your needs aren’t being met, it can definitely cause problems down the road and you need to speak up.
But when you’re in the middle of something it can be hard to identify it. If you think you’re relationship is becoming one sided but aren’t sure what that really means or what to do about it, here are a few things to look out for.
1. You always initiate communication.
Do you make all of the plans or start all of the conversations? If you feel like without you there wouldn’t be any communication, it’s a sign that something’s up. If you’re the only one communicating, it might be because you’re more committed to the relationship. Telling yourself that this is okay gives even more power to your partner.
2. Your partner chooses anything over you.
Does your partner’s behavior follow a pattern of neglect? Are they constantly spending time with their friends over you? Do they forget to invite you to group activities? If so, this is a strong indicator that you’re in a one-sided relationship. You shouldn’t have to feel like you’re nagging your significant other to be thought of.
3. You’re always apologizing.
One of the telltale signs of one-sided relationship is over apologizing. This can be the result of either your partner guilt tripping you or your own deteriorated sense of self worth, but both point toward deeper issues at play. You should feel free to ask for and give help without being afraid that you’ll burden your partner.
4. You constantly make excuses for them.
This one is simple. You shouldn’t have to reassure anyone that your relationship is right for you. If your partner is constantly blowing off double-dates, missing work events, or not showing up when they say they will and your friends are picking up on it and feel the need to speak up, it’s a definite sign that something’s not right. You deserve better than to have to prove that you and your partner love each other equally.
5. You’re stressed and unhappy.
If you’re in a one-sided relationship, you probably feel drained. Constant relationship doubt and unrequited affection are tiresome. It’s great to evaluate things that can be worked on, but you shouldn’t have to overanalyze each and every thing. If you’re not happy, it slowly grinds away at you.
Admitting you’re in a one-sided relationship is hard, but getting out of it is harder. If the relationship is unsalvageable, it’s the healthiest choice. Save yourself the time and energy of giving someone chance after chance. You’re responsible for the effort you put in, but you aren’t responsible for changing your partner. Let them know why you’re leaving. They might be able to grow from it. Parting ways may not be easy, but you’ll be better for it in time.