Dear Joan Actually,
I know you write that dating column, but I don’t feel like reading all of them. So can you just tell me the most important thing I should know?
–Honolulu, HI
Firstly, it’s in your best interest to read the columns. How else are you going to know what to do when your girlfriend has terrible bad breath?
You seem like a nice guy, so in the interest of time, I’ll break it down for you.
Too many guys take themselves out of the game before they even get started. Don’t be one of those guys. Handle yourself and your interactions with women better with my #1 dating tip for men: Be deliberate about the pursuit. That means that when you see the woman you want to talk to, you make the conscious decision to do something about it. If you’re worried about the perfect opening line or if you’ve got the right look, you’re spending time the wrong the way. Stop qualifying yourself to talk to her and just say hi.
Women like confident men. It’s hard to talk to someone you don’t know, so when you power through your anxiety to introduce yourself, it’s flattering and shows that you have no problem tackling scary or uncomfortable situations.
You’re always going to run the risk of rejection and, when it happens, your ego will take a little hit, but you’ll get over it. Stop dwelling on what could go wrong and focus on getting her number instead.
