It’s no secret that men and women are different, and nowhere is that more apparent than in the wide world of online dating. Any man who’s tried a dating site or app knows it can sometimes feel like a numbers game or an ongoing battle for attention. Most often the pressure’s on the guy to make the initial contact, start the conversation, and ask for the date. As a result, what works for well for women in online dating simply won’t work for a guy. Luckily, we talked to Radio Wright, the eDating Doc, and got his top online dating tips for men.
So listen up guys, here are the tips you need to know to make online dating work for you:
Know Your Reason for Being Online
“You need to consider what your goal is. Whether it’s for a relationship or if you’re just looking for fun,” said Wright. Knowing this will not only determine the people who you’ll pursue, but it will also ensure you’re on the same page as the women you meet. Own what you want. Don’t say you want a relationship if you don’t want one, and don’t say you’re looking for something casual if what you really want is something serious. (Surprising fact, according to a poll of online daters 86% of men who are dating online are looking for something serious.)
Remember Photos Are Important
Taking a selfie seems like a thoughtless task, but your profile pic should be anything but. “Photos are the biggest issue,” says Wright. “Guys think because profile writing is difficult, that it’s the most important part. But it’s not. Because photos are easy to display, they don’t put as much thought into it as they should. Photos are super important.” Wright advises having a combination of photos showcasing your interests and recommends having your friends help you pick which photos are best for you.
Be Playful in Your Profile
Taking the time to write a profile that authentically reflects who you are is important, but one of the online dating tips for men that’s often forgotten is that it’s equally vital to inject a dash of fun into your profile too. “Get across the high-value things about yourself, but throw in things that are fun,” says Wright. “Think about something light-hearted and playful that you can relate to. It lets the woman know you don’t take yourself too seriously, and it makes your profile more interesting to read.” Another tip that Wright recommends? “Be about it, don’t just write about it. Some guys will write that they’re funny, and then they’re not funny at all in their profile. So if you think you’re funny, be funny.” And try to stick to a maximum of 400 words. Otherwise, bleary-eyed potential matches will move on.
Like Her as Your First Move
Sometimes you get tongue-tied. Or maybe you don’t have the time to write out a flirty message. In those instances, liking a potential match is perfectly fine, says Wright. “It’s cool to like a profile or photo, just one photo, of someone if you don’t want to send a message to right away. Then she’ll get the gist of who you are. There’s something called mere-exposure effect, which is a psychological phenomenon by which people develop a preference for things that they’re familiar with. If a girl sees that you like her photo, then she’ll be more open to receiving you.” But you have to follow up with a message in order to get things rolling.
Get Real in Your First Message
So you met someone who you want to connect with online. Next up is sending the all-important first message. Wright recommends keeping the message brief and balanced, flirty yet authentic. “You want to be playful about something in her profile. It could be about her photo with her dog or cat so there’s something playful in the first sentence. Then you want to mention something authentic. Something about her personality that you noticed in her profile,” says Wright. “Don’t just be playful. You want to get real too, because otherwise there isn’t any connecting happening.”
When you’re trying to connect with people online, a great rule of thumb to remember is that authenticity and personality stands out. For better or worse, women have more choices when they’re dating online—But so do you! Use Wright’s online dating tips for men—put yourself out there, don’t be afraid to get real with people, and get your photos looking sharp. You’ll find yourself not just attracting more women, but actually connecting with them.