In a 2015 study, men were put to the test about whether they found intelligent women—specifically women potentially more intelligent than them—attractive or desirable.
The findings were rather abysmal. 86% of the men stated before the study that they were into smarter women, but the researchers concluded that what the men said they wanted wasn’t fulfilled when they were faced with actual women who scored higher on an IQ test than them.
The findings showed that men who feel threatened by more intelligent women may, in turn, feel “less masculine” and decide that the ladies weren’t so hot after all. These men liked the “idea” of a smart woman, more than the reality.
It’s the age-old problem: we don’t always know what we want, even if we think we do. It’s also indicative of gender dynamics and icky thoughts around confidence and power in heterosexual relationships, which still subsist today.
Not every man feels this way, and if you don’t, good for you! But if you’re a man who feels a little threatened when you’re around a beauty with brains, hear this: dating smart women is the smartest decision you could ever make! Smart women can be your partners, your teammates, your equals. They can challenge you. They’ll never bore you and can open you to new ideas. Don’t let your ego rule out a woman just because her brain intimidates you.
Here are just a few reasons why dating a smart woman is a great idea:
1. You’re smart too.
We’re usually attracted to people who are similar to us in levels of attractiveness, humor, intelligence, etc. If you’re mismatched with someone in any important aspect, it isn’t likely to last, so choosing and dating a smart woman means your relationship is more likely to last if you’re smart yourself. If you start dating a smart woman, feel complimented: you’re smart too! Plus, if you can handle dating a smart woman, that means you have a healthy level of self-confidence as well.
2. She’ll enhance your life.
A smart woman will challenge you and never bore you. She’ll have some articulate thoughts about the world and what’s going on it. She’ll have opinions to contribute in friendly parley. Imagine a great date looking at the stars where you and your special lady riff on about mythology and the cosmos and whether there is or isn’t life on other planets…those conversations like those are vastly more stimulating than learning what your date last read about the Kardashians.
A long-lasting relationship can’t be all about sex, so you’ll want and definitely enjoy having someone to converse with by your side.
3. She wants a partner, but she doesn’t need one.
A smart woman isn’t going to waste her time grasping for other people to pay her rent or buy her pretty things. She’s likely to have a good group of friends, her own interests and hobbies that mean she’s going to have a great life outside of dating. She’s not going to need a partner or someone to take care of her; she is going to want one to share her already great and full life with. She’s going to want someone to love and laugh with. She won’t be into you for your material items. She’ll be into you for you.
4. She’ll be your equal.
I can’t stress this enough. If you’ve been saying you’re feminist, this is your chance to have an equal. You’ll have a real partnership. The burden of decision-making for your relationship doesn’t have to rest solely on your shoulders, and you can feel comforted that you have someone you can bounce things off of.
5. She’ll bring in the bucks too.
While this may not always be the case, intelligent women often are ambitious and well-educated, which leads to greater career success. Money is often a big stress for couples, and it will make things dramatically easier if you’re both bringing some financial wherewithal to the relationship, or at least you’ve got a fine lady on your ends who can help you balance and keep a budget.
Gentlemen, dating smart women shouldn’t challenge your sense of self or masculinity. It should assure you that you’re a smart and confident man who is ready to meet his match. Just don’t forget to check your ego at the door. Smart women are more likely to bring out the best in you, but also challenge you. If you’re looking for a life companion, they’re it.