How to Deal with Ambiguous Texts

How to deal with ambiguous text messages.

Hi Joan—

I met a guy I liked. He works near me, and we grab lunch and drinks, but he’s not asking me out on a real date. He texts me throughout the day, but I can’t get him to make plans. What’s going on, and where is this going?

A lot of women spend so much time trying to decode texts and understand a guy’s intentions. Does he like me, or is he just shy? It’s so, so easy to spend way too many hours doing these things. You can do better!

Spinning your wheels over nondescript texts is a waste of your time. If he isn’t making plans with you, it’s because of one of two things. Either he is not interested, or he doesn’t think that you are.

The only way to find out is to take some initiative and show some interest. To show you’re interested in being possibly more than friend, you have to let him know that if you were to take the next step, it would work out pretty well for him.

You can say something like, ‘Hey, this new movie I like is coming out next week. It would be fun if we checked it out,’ or ‘Hey, there’s this new place that has like twenty beers on tap.’ Things like that are soft invitations to get the ball rolling.

If you do show him some preliminary interest, and he doesn’t do anything with it, you’ll have your answer, and you can move on to the next one.

Generally speaking though, when men are interested, they tend to let you know. If you’ve given him the green light to pursue you, and he’s not—you can stop worrying and focus your attention on someone who wants to get it right.

Still confused? Watch and learn.



Joan Actually

Dating Expert

Joan is a writer and dating expert.

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