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Is He Serious About Me? 11 Signs He’s For Real

Happy couple standing outdoors with man kissing woman on the cheek as she smiles and asks herself the question, "is he serious about me"?

Is he serious about me? It’s a question we’ve likely all asked ourselves at some point in our dating journeys. After all, even if you’ve been spending a lot of time together, you’ve spotted those surefire signs he’s flirting, and it feels like you’re genuinely connecting, knowing for sure whether he’s really into you isn’t always easy. 

So, how do you know if the guy you’re catching feelings for is as ready for a future with you as you are with him? It’s not always straightforward and can vary from couple to couple. That’s why we’re here to help! Below, we’ve put together a list of some of the biggest tell-tale signs that might help you answer the question, “Is he serious about me?”

Is He Serious About Me? 11 Things to Look Out For

How do I know if he is serious about me? Answering this can be tricky, but with a few common signs and signals to look out for, you can get a pretty good idea of what his intentions are.

Below, we’ve laid out a list of 11 of the most common signs that he’s serious that are worth looking out for.

1. You know his friends

First things first: A guy who’s serious about his relationship with you won’t make you feel like his secret. Even if it took a while before he brought you into his social circle, if he’s gone out of his way to bring you around his people, it’s most probably a good sign. 

“A man who can really envision a future with you will want to integrate you into all parts of his life,” says relationship writer and speaker James Michael Sama. So, if you’ve become a regular part of his friend group, it can be a good indicator that he’s serious about you.

2. He treats you with respect

If you express emotion and your man consoles and listens to you, he’s probably in it for the long haul. “Some guys can take your emotional expressions too personally. If he makes you feel worse and not better, then he is not mature enough,” says relationship expert and author, Mastin Kipp. If your man feels as emotionally mature as you are, that’s a great sign.

3. He reaches out first 

Initiating contact is important, especially if you’re in a long-distance relationship. A guy who makes sure you know you’re on his mind, even when he can’t be physically present for you, is great. 

Whether he does it through romantic love paragraphs or flirty texts, he should be able to prioritize you as the number one in his life. If he does, it’s a good sign he’s serious.

4. He doesn’t look single on social media

Many men (and women) won’t post pictures of the person they’re dating for the specific reason that they don’t want to look like they’re in a relationship. 

If after several months and hundreds of selfies together, he’s only posted pictures of him and his buddies on his socials, proceed with caution. A guy who’s serious about a relationship usually wants the world to know it. 

5. He brings up the future

Does he talk and commit to plans, whether they’re tomorrow or five months from now? A guy who’s serious about you won’t be playing you or wasting your time because he knows what he wants. If he often backs out of things, claiming to be “too busy”, it could be a sign that he’s not taking the relationship seriously. 

On the flip side, a guy who doesn’t hesitate about committing to things further down the road is likely to be in it for the long haul. Simply put, if your man’s a planner, he’s serious about you. 

6. He rarely breaks commitments

It can be as big as promising to go to your friend’s wedding with you or as small as calling when he said he will. When trying to answer the question, “is he serious about me?” it’s important to pay attention to what he does, rather than what he says. If your guy shows up when he says he will, you can be quite confident that he’s ready to make a more serious commitment.

7. He doesn’t cringe over PDA 

Some people aren’t comfortable with public displays of affection. That’s totally fine. But, pay attention to whether he acts single even when he’s out with you. Does he care if people think you’re his sister, cousin, or friend? Is he checking out other girls, or even flirting with them while he’s with you? Remember, a guy that’s proud to be with you typically wants the whole world to know it.

8. He’s supportive, not competitive

A relationship is a two-person team. You and your partner work together to build each other up and support one another. When he backs you, never tries to one-up you, and brags about your accomplishments, he’s serious!

9. He knows so much about you

If you’re asking yourself the question, “is my boyfriend serious about me?”, think about how much he demonstrates a desire to get to know you. If he doesn’t spend too much time talking about himself and focuses instead on asking you questions — and listening to your answers — it’s a good sign that he’s really into you. 

Communication and conversation are key to any good relationship. When he cares enough to get to know you, it’s a pretty strong sign that his intentions are good. 

10. He’s willing to make changes for you

No one should completely change who they are just to fit a new relationship. But, if he’s willing to kick a few annoying habits he knows you hate, it’s a surefire sign that he’s for real.

Relationships are often about compromise. If he’s willing to go to extra lengths to adjust his behavior to make you happy, it’s likely he’s pretty serious about you.

11. Your intuition says he’s the one 

What is your intuition telling you? Do you have a gut feeling that he’s the one? Sometimes, analyzing his words and actions can only get you so far and it’s that instinctive feeling that gives you the final answer. Trust yourself and what your intuition is telling you. More often than not, that’ll help you find the answer you’re looking for.

The Bottom Line

In the end, if you feel it and find that you’re asking yourself the question “is he serious about me?” less often, you’re on the right track. Look out for these signs he’s serious and if you feel confident that he’s for real, it might be time to talk about going exclusive. Good luck!

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