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Is He Flirting With Me Or Just Being Nice? Here’s How To Figure It Out

A woman looking at the man she’s interested in wondering, “Is he flirting with me?” while they walk down the street together.

Is he flirting with me or being nice? Was that a normal blink or an “I want you!” blink? If your inner monologue often sounds like this, don’t fret. Flirting comes naturally to some people, but it’s totally normal to feel you need to work on it. For most of us, this involves planning out our next move, wondering whether we’re laughing too much and too often, and constantly worrying about where we should put our hands! Yes, the struggles of knowing how to flirt are real!

However, even if you’re a master at flirting, spotting those surefire signs a guy is flirting with you isn’t always easy. After all, it’s difficult to be fully aware of another person’s intentions. When it comes to dating, this often makes it tough to figure out if a man is being nice to you, or letting you know they’re interested.

To help you on your way to answering the age-old question, “Is he flirting with me?”, we’ve put together an extensive guide to spotting those definite signs he’s flirting. Discover all you need to know below!  

What is Flirting?

Before trying to answer the question, “Is he flirting with me?” it’s worthwhile taking a step back a recapping what flirting actually is. As Merriam-Webster’s definition of flirting states, to flirt is “to behave amorously without serious intent.”

Commonly, this behavior involves something spoken or written — or the use of body language — that suggests interest in a person beyond friendship. This can often be subtle and indirect, making it tricky to spot whether someone is showing interest.

How to Tell if a Guy Is Flirting With You: 15 Surefire Signs 

The best way to answer the question, “Is he flirting with me?” is to look out for the most common signs of flirting. These will give you an idea of what his thoughts and intentions are, helping you to figure out what steps to take next.

Below, we’ve put together a list of 15 of the most definite signs a guy is flirting with you, so you’ll have the best chance of knowing how he’s feeling!

Sign #1: A telling touch

One of the most obvious signs a man is flirting is if they’re physically reaching out. The initial touch will probably be subtle and playful. When you’re walking next to each other, pay attention to how close he gets to you. Does he reach out and help guide you as you cross the street? Does his hand linger on your back for just a millisecond longer than a friend would keep it there?

If it seems he’s consistently making physical contact in this way, it’s a good sign he’s flirting and that this is more than a nicety!

Sign #2: Lots and lots of text messages

A good way to tell if it’s flirtatious or friendly is by checking your messages. Does he text you throughout the day, either reaching out to you directly or speaking to you in a group thread? If so, you’re likely on his mind. 

Flirting over text can be a fun and relaxed way to connect. Just make sure you’re confident he’s on the same page before you start crafting those spicy flirty texts.

Sign #3: He follows you on social media

Similarly, following and interacting with you on social media is another indication of flirtatious behavior. Is he sending you hilarious Instagram reels all the time? Does he like all your tweets and Facebook posts?

Any kind of extra attention when it comes to smartphone use is usually a pretty good sign a guy is flirting with you. If you want to flirt back in the same way, send him in some of Zoosk’s TikTok videos so you can both laugh and share stories about your dating experiences!

Sign #4: Teasing

Just as it was in our high school days, one of the most common flirting techniques is the gentle tease. We’re not talking about him pulling your pigtails — we hope that was left behind in the schoolyard – rather, subtle teasing at your expense.

Of course, this needs to be gentle and good-natured. Often, it involves inside jokes or gently poking fun at you for something. So, whether he’s given you a funny nickname, made jokes about your guilty pleasure music choices, or poked fun at you for your undevoted love of romance novels, gentle teasing is one of the easiest ways to tell if a guy is being flirtatious.

Sign #5: Eye contact

This is one of the surest signs he’s flirting. Do you notice him catching your eye a lot, whether he’s talking to you or not? We look at people we’re attracted to, we can’t really help it. So, if you’re asking yourself, “Is he being friendly or flirty?”, pay attention to whether your eyes lock every time you both laugh. It’s a strong sign he’s into you.

Sign #6: He isn’t checking his phone

If he’s into you, you’ll have his full attention. Whenever you’re together, if you notice that his phone stays in his pocket, it shows you’re holding his interest. If a guy likes you and is flirting, you’ll be the pinnacle of his focus and everything else will be background noise, including his phone.

Conversely, if he’s taking it out every minute or two to read messages, he might not be as into you as you’re hoping and probably isn’t likely to be flirting.

Sign #7: Body language

You’ve probably heard it a thousand times, but it remains true. Body language is one of the best signs a guy is flirting with you. Is his body turned toward you when you sit next to one another? Are his feet pointed at you? Does he find a lot of excuses to be near you, physically touching you or just standing as close as possible?

Flirting isn’t just about the thing he says. If he’s sending you visual hints through his body language, he’s probably interested. Body language cues are one of our best tools for flirting, so look out for them!

Sign #8: He tries to impress you

One of the signs that a man is flirting is when he goes out of his way to impress you. Do you find that he’s often telling you about himself and his achievements? This could be a sign that he’s hoping to capture your attention and win your affection.

This might not be straight-out bragging though. Flirting in this way is often done by guys who’re genuinely interested and are doing their best to impress you. After all, it’s only natural that we want to present our best selves to someone we’re attracted to.

Sign #9: He gives you a lot of compliments

Compliments are a classic sign of flirtatious behavior. Whether it’s appreciating your cooking or commenting on your outfit, a guy who showers you with praise is a good sign he’s flirting. Just make sure that the compliments feel real. If they come across as over-the-top, it can be an indication that he’s not being genuine.

Sign #10: He’s always trying to make you laugh             

Have a sense of humor is one of the most important things to look for in a guy. And, knowing how to tell if he’s flirting often comes down to how the conversation between you plays out. If the guy is making a lot of effort to crack some jokes and make you laugh, it’s a good indication that he’s flirting.,

Sign #11: He wants to spend one-on-one time together

When it comes to signs he’s flirting, making excuses to spend one-on-one time with you is one of the most obvious picks. Does he invite you for a coffee date with friends but then pretends that the others canceled at the last minute so now it’s just you and him? Does he offer to stay late at work and help you out with a group project?

Whatever form it takes, showing a desire to spend one-on-one time with you is one of the clearest signs a man is flirting and that he’s into you.

Sign #12: He gets nervous around you

When it comes to dating, we all get nervous. But did you know that nervousness is a potential indication of flirtatious behavior and a sign that he might like you?

This can show in different ways, whether he stutters a bit when talking to you, fidgets a lot, or turns a bit red and sweaty. And, if he’s normally a confident guy, spotting this nervousness can be a surefire sign he’s trying to flirt with you.

Sign #13: He’s always finding ways to start a conversation (and keep it going)

When asking yourself the question, “Is he flirting with me?” think about how your conversations are. Does he make the effort to come up with new things to talk about or take the time to go deeper into topics and have meaningful discussions? Does he demonstrate that he’s listening intently to what you’re saying and is totally focused while you’re talking?

If so, it shows he genuinely enjoys talking to you and that he’s interested in what you’re saying. These are strong signs he’s flirting and a good indication that he’s into you!

Sign #14: He always seems happy when you’re around

What’s his demeanor like when he’s around you? An easy way to tell if he’s flirting is by seeing how is when you’re with him. If his face lights up when you walk in the room and his mood heightens, there’s a good chance he’s into you and he’ll start flirting.

Sign #15: He tells you directly!

Finally, and this one might sound obvious, when a guy straight up says he’s into you, you can be sure he’s flirting. Being explicit and direct leaves no doubt in the mind. This is the best scenario from which to kickstart a new meaningful relationship!

Is He Flirting With Me? Yes! Now It’s Time to Respond!

So, is he flirting with me or just being nice? If you’ve recently spent time with a guy and spotted some of those surefire signs he’s flirting, it’s time to figure out your next move!

Flirting can be a great way to build up a genuine connection with someone new. So, once you’re confident you’ve spotted his flirtatious behavior — and you feel physically and emotionally attracted to him too — join in the fun and get flirty yourself! Ask him some flirty questions, see where things go, and you’ll be on the path toward a meaningful, lasting relationship in no time!

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