How To Flirt With Your Crush Without Being Too Obvious

man and woman sitting at cafe table showing how to flirt with your crush

When done right, flirting is fun. While being straightforward can be great in relationships, part of the allure of flirting is that it’s not always clear what the other’s intentions are, which makes things a bit exciting and mysterious. 

But, there’s a right way how to flirt with your crush that doesn’t come on too strong, and doesn’t cross any boundaries in case you’re not sure if they’re interested and/or single. 

Here’s How to Flirt with Your Crush The Right Way

  1. Make eye contact

I know, I know, you’ve heard this one before, right? Well, that’s because it works. Eye contact leaves an impression, whether you’re trying to ace an interview or make your crush feel butterflies. Make sure when you’re talking to your crush, you look them in the eyes. 

Or, if you’re just passing your crush in the hallway, make eye contact and do a subtle smile. If they like you, they’ll think you’re into them. If they’re not thinking that way, they’ll just think you’re confident and kind, which is never a bad vibe to give off. 

  1. Be extra nice to them (and also, to everyone)

Wanna know how to flirt with your crush without everyone in your class/office/apartment complex noticing that you’re crushin’ from a mile away? Be super friendly and nice to your crush, but then go a step further and simply be that friendly and nice to everyone. 

Even if your crush doesn’t ask you out, someone else probably will. And if your crush does ask you out, they’ll do it because they think you’re simply a sweetheart. 

  1. Give a “dad compliment”

You can definitely compliment your crush if you have the confidence, but do it in a way that doesn’t seem too aggressive or sexual in nature. I like to call this the “dad compliment.” 

An example could be, “Did you get your haircut? It looks nice.” Or, “cool shoes.” Definitely don’t use the words “handsome,” “sexy,” or “hot.” Those are not subtle. Dad compliments will leave your crush wondering if you’re into them, or if you’re just being nice. 

Of course, you can also simply compliment your crush on things you actually want to compliment them on, especially if it leads to a further conversation. For example, “I love your band tee. Did you see them at The Trocadero last summer?” Or, “You drive a Jeep too? Love the way you customized it.” 

  1. Ask for help in a way that strokes your crush’s ego

You may know this already, but asking someone for their help actually makes them like you more. This “Ben Franklin effect” works especially well if you ask your crush for help with something that’ll stroke their ego. 

For example, if you have a crush on a guy, try asking him for help with some manly tasks like carrying something heavy. If you have a crush on a woman who’s a self-proclaimed foodie, ask her for restaurant recommendations (just make sure she knows it’s not for a date). 

Of course, depending on the circumstance, you’ll want to ask for a favor that makes sense in the context. If you work with your crush, don’t ask them to help you with something back at your apartment. Find something in the office to ask for their help with, or maybe just ask for advice so it can be tackled wherever you are. 

  1. Mimic their movements (or their drink order)

Another psychological-proven tip for how to flirt with your crush? People like people that remind them of themselves. Don’t show up to class wearing the same shirt as your crush, but try mimicking their movements or speech style. 

If you’re at the bar, try ordering the same thing as your crush (within reason, of course). Suddenly, you both have something in common to talk about, and your crush will probably subconsciously think you’re cooler because you like the same drink that they do. 

  1. Invite them with you vs. inviting them out on a date

Asking someone on a date isn’t subtle. In fact, this is probably the most obvious tip of the list, but hear me out. If you’re trying to take the next step with your crush without full-on asking them on a date, try inviting them along with you instead. 

For example, let’s say you’re going to check out that new smoothie shop after class, or you’re headed to happy hour with friends post-work. Try casually mentioning it and inviting your crush along, knowing you’ll be going regardless, even if they can’t join. 

It’s a low-pressure way to signify to your crush that you’re interested in getting to know them without making it completely clear if you like them as more than a friend. Of course, if they say no and don’t seem too keen on being invited again, respect their boundary and don’t continue inviting them along. 

If you want to flex your flirting muscles, try these tips to send a signal while keeping it subtle. Puts you in the win-win situation of getting to suss out the situation without too much pressure. Good luck out there! 

Ashley Uzer

Ashley Uzer is a freelance writer who specializes in sex and dating. She has written for many international outlets including Bustle, VICE, & Galore. She’s currently doing the whole digital nomad thing, but you can find her in Washington D.C. or NYC every once in a while. Follow along with her adventures on TwitterInstagram, or on her blog.

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