What Women Think Men Want Vs What They Actually Want

couple laughing at the beach disproving what women think men want

It’s funny how many men and women assume things about each other. And this is off the charts when it comes to dating and relationships.

Men want this. Women want that

But what if what you think men want is just an urban myth? What if what they actually want is actually quite different from the expectations you believe they have? 

Wonder no more, because we’re dispelling some of the most common myths about men in. Here’s what women think men want, and what they actually want.

What women think men want: skinny

What they actually want: healthy

Most men aren’t turned on by the sight of emaciated runway model look-alikes. They don’t want you to have a figure that looks weak or fragile; like one hug might break you. 

Of course, every man is different and attracted to different things. But generally speaking, men want a woman who looks and is healthy. If you’re naturally thin, great. And if you’re not, great. Don’t change.

Most men love it when a woman has a healthy appetite. Pretending you’re not hungry, existing solely on protein shakes & salads, and being on a permanent diet isn’t attractive. 

I know we’re under immense pressure as women to look a certain way. But trust me, when you embrace your natural body and feel confident and happy within, it shows. And that’s what it really means to be sexy.

What women think men want: someone who fits their idea of a perfect woman

What they actually want: for you to be yourself

You can wear a mask and pretend to be someone you’re not to trick someone into liking you, but eventually, they’ll find out. Plus, why would you want to be anyone else? 

Most men (and women) don’t really know what they want until it’s right in front of them. That means it’s hopeless trying to get someone’s attention by trying to be someone you think they want. 

Most people will agree that one of the most attractive things about a person is when they are comfortable being themselves. When they’re not putting on an act, or trying to fit in. When they own their quirks, and aren’t afraid to show the world who they really are. 

The moral of the story? You do you. As cliché as it sounds, everyone else is taken. Seriously. 

What women think men want: someone who looks immaculate all the time

What they actually want: someone who’s having fun

Most men love it when you get dressed up, do your hair and make-up. But they also love it when you’re chilling with them in sweats, with your hair pulled back in a scrunchie. 

So many of us are self-conscious about the way we look – because we’ve learned to be. And that can lead to being too focussed on our appearance over just relaxing and having fun.

But men don’t really care if your eyeliner is perfect or you’re overdue a wax, or you can’t be bothered to get dressed up all the time. They much prefer it if you’re relaxed and just having fun – whatever you’re doing. 

What women think men want: to hang out with their friends all the time

What they actually want: both of you to have independence

It’s no secret that most men enjoy guy time. But you probably enjoy time with your girls too, right?

Most men don’t want to hang out with their friends all the time. But equally, they don’t want to hang out with you all the time either. Because neither of those is healthy. 

All they really want is to have their independence, and for you to have yours too. And that’s healthy. That’s good for both of you and your relationship. 

As long as he’s spending enough time with you, and putting in the effort; let him enjoy guy time. Without any guilt. 

What women think men want: someone who they can rescue

What they actually want: a strong woman who can take care of herself

What’s frustrating about old fairy tales and Disney movies is there’s always a Damsel in distress who needs saving. And some girls learn that this is how they’re meant to behave in relation to men. 

While most men will enjoy being protective and looking after you, they still want you to be able to take care of yourself. They don’t want to be constantly worrying and fussing over you. That’s exhausting and can lead to an unhealthy, dependent relationship. 

A man doesn’t need you to weaken yourself, so he can feel like a real man. Any man worth being in a relationship with wants to see you as his partner – his equal.

Shani Jay

Bestselling Author and Empowerment Coach

Shani holds a mirror to your soul, so you can see how beautiful you already are. She is the founder of She Rose Revolution, a bestselling author, empowerment leader, and an internationally published writer.

Her words have reached and touched millions, while her books have made their way into the hands and hearts of thousands of women worldwide.

You can find out more about Shani by heading to her website and connecting with her on Instagram.

 

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