Dating men in their 30s is like hitting the sweet spot. They’re old enough to have finally figured out most of the important things in life, like their career and that they prefer happy-hour cocktails over hitting up the clubs at 11:00 p.m. But they’re also young enough to be open to new experiences and relationships without the cynicism and baggage that men above 40 might have acquired throughout their dating life. Before you say yes to that date with a thirty-something man, here’s (almost) everything you need to know about him.
1. He understands beauty is only skin deep.
A man in his 20s might have been more obsessed with his abs than you, but a man in his 30s is looking for someone with more substance and tons of confidence. Your thirty-something man realizes that a woman’s worth as well as her attractiveness goes deeper than her physical appearance. Of course men in their 30s appreciate a woman who takes pride in how she looks, but they also understand that good looks only get you so far. Self-esteem and a creative mind are the sexy turn-ons he’s looking for.
2. He doesn’t want any drama.
A man in his 30s is over the emotional outbursts, the dramatic head games, and all the chaotic confusion that typically depicts dating in your twenties. Now he just wants straight forwardness, honesty, and lots of peace and calm in his relationships. (i.e. no late night drunk texting and asking, “What are we?!!”) If you are curious about his feelings or relationship status, then just ask.
3. He’s looking to settle down… soonish.
Most men in their 30s are tired of random hookups and casual relationships that never go anywhere. He wants to find a suitable partner for a long-term relationship, and, eventually, possibly, marriage. However, dating doesn’t automatically equal marriage right away for the thirty-something man. Most men in their 30s are finally earning a stable income, which might mean he’s more concerned with getting that promotion than sending out wedding invitations. If you’re wondering where’s he at, ask him what he hopes to achieve over the next five years. If he mentions marriage, he’s looking for a commitment. If he mentions surfing around the world with his dudes, then he’s probably content with just dating. For now.
4. He wants support.
Men in their 20s have a lot of bravado. They hang out with their friends 24/7 and think they know a lot about the world, including women and dating, when they actually know next to nada. A man in his 30s realizes that he was a mess in his 20s and wants to better himself, but he also realized that he needs support getting his stuff together. He’s looking for a woman who he can learn from and lean on during the tough times, and someone with whom he can happily share the good times. If you’re open to nurturing him to be the best person he can be, then you just might find your match.
5. He wants you to be open about what you want.
A man in his 30s is more open to clear and honest communication than ever before. Whether it’s discussing your thoughts on marriage, having a family (or not) or what you would prefer he do in the bedroom, he wants to know it all. Don’t remain silent in fear of scaring him away. In fact, it’s remaining quiet about your needs and wants that might actually cause him to walk away.
Remember, a man in his 30s has, for the most part, relinquished the cavalier, immature, and sometimes selfish ways of his 20s. He’s open to experiencing one of the most significant relationships in his life—there’s no reason why it can’t be with you.