Dating In Your 30s As A Man: What Men Wish You Knew

man standing with coat thinking about dating in your 30s as a man

One of the best ways to find success in dating is to better understand the opposite sex. The more informed you are about what they want, how they act, and what gets their hearts pumping, the better equipped you are to find love.

Ladies, if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like dating in your 30s as a man, buckle up because we’re going to break it down for you today. We’re going to debunk some myths and give you the information you need to better understand the other side of the dating aisle.

The Truth About Dating in Your 30s as a Man

It Can Be Just as Frustrating

It can be tempting to think that dating in your 30s as a man is nowhere near as difficult as dating as a woman at any age. Men aren’t constantly hounded by their moms to have babies, don’t face the same societal pressures for marriage, and don’t have to deal with low-quality options, right? Wrong.

Believe it or not, dating in your 30s as a man means dealing with many of the same struggles that women do. Sure, there’re a few struggles that may be unique to each sex, but the major hot-button pressures and issues like baby clocks, marriage timelines, and sifting through less-than-stellar single options are struggles we have in common.

Priorities Shift

For most men, there’s a natural shift that happens from around the time of our late 20s through our early 30s. Some might call it growing up or maturing, but we like to look at it more as a shift in priorities.

Instead of approaching the dating pool with a looks-first or looks-only attitude, men start to look more for substance, quality, and sustainability. While men are still visual creatures, we start to put a lot more weight into the categories that really should have mattered most from day one.

Does this mean that every man dating in their 30s has their head on straight when it comes to priorities? Of course not. But the large majority of men start to swing around and realign their dating focus.

We Still Like the Cute Things

For some reason, society likes to make people think that men don’t like the cute and memorable things that happen in the early stages of dating. And society further wants you to think that dating in your 30s as a man means you’re even less interested in these things than you were in your 20s. The belief is that dating for men at this age becomes more transactional.

Ladies, we want you to know that this couldn’t be further from the truth. Sure, you might not see us bragging on Facebook about the sweet love note you slipped into our lunch, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love it. You might not see us ranting to our buddies watching football about how you surprised us in the morning with breakfast in bed, but you better believe we can’t stop thinking about it.

One of the biggest things men dating in their 30s wish women knew was that we want the romance, the cuteness, and the memories just as much as you do. Some of us might not be as vocal about it, but don’t let society make you think we don’t enjoy romance.

Why This Information Should Matter to You

So, what can you do with this information now that you have a bit more insight into dating in your 30s as a man? Here’re some tips you can use moving forward.

Embrace the fact that you’re not alone in the dating struggle. Men in their 30s are feeling the same pressures as you from their friends, family, and society.

Be confident in who you are as a woman. Showcase what makes you special on the inside, and you’re going to have success finding a man that appreciates you for who you are. This doesn’t mean wear sweatpants and a wrinkled sweater out on a first date but know that men are looking for more than just what meets the eye.

Allow your romantic and fun side to stay involved in the dating process. There’s no need to rush the romance and come on too strong out of the gate. But when the time is right, don’t be shy to have a little fun with your guy and do the cute things that you did when you were younger and dating. You might not get a grandiose gesture of thanks but us men still enjoy those things. 

Jason Lee

Jason Lee is a U.S.-based freelance writer with a passion for writing about dating, banking, tech, personal growth, and personal finance. As a business owner, relationship strategist, and officer in the U.S. military, Jason enjoys sharing his unique knowledge base and skillsets with the rest of the world. For fun, he enjoys long walks to the fridge, taking too many pictures of his dog, and getting into heated debates about the merits of the Oxford comma.

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