Why Being Single After 40 Can Be Pretty Amazing

A man and a woman who are single in their 40s, on a date and sharing a kiss.

Being single after 40 is a time to cherish and celebrate. By our 40s, we’ve had plenty of time to figure out what we want in a partner. We have a better idea of what our negotiables and non-negotiables are. Hopefully, we’ve learned from out past mistakes and grown from our experiences. And we also have the freedom to explore our passions, hobbies, and desires at a time in our lives when we’re comfortable in our own skin.

Gone are the days of the stigma attached to being single over the “proper marrying age.”  We can do as we please and live our lives as we wish.

Here are a few more reasons being single in your 40s is actually pretty amazing:

The focus is on you as a whole person, not just your career or relationship.
When we were younger, in our 20s and even 30s, many of us hadn’t figured out what we wanted to do with our lives. We were focusing on career aspirations, trying to find the niche that fulfilled and energized us to get up every morning and face the new day.

This pursuit, though important, can put a lot of limitations on leisure time and the ability to try new hobbies, travel, and dating experiences. As a result, dating and other hobbies and experiences that can be incredibly enriching get put on the back burner or are squished into an already crazy schedule.

When we’re over 40, we’re often more settled into our careers and can give more of ourselves, our time, and our money to our personal passions. It’s often through these interests and hobbies that we meet potential partners who are of a similar age who have the same interests. We can date without stress or time constraints, and explore the things that make us happier, more fulfilled individuals. Ultimately, these types of choices lead us to be happier with ourselves, which makes it easier for us attract the right person.

Being a mature single is celebrated now.
Our culture has embraced the mature single person, especially because a large portion of the baby boomer generation is now in their 60s. Negative attitudes and stereotypes about being single after 40 have been forgotten. We can wear the clothes, hairstyles, and looks that we enjoy and make us feel good about ourselves. We can still feel sexy and phenomenal. As they say, “When you look good, you feel good,” which is pretty great.

There’s more freedom to find who, and what, makes you happy.
Maturity brings the confidence we need to live our lives our own way. We don’t feel the need to compete with others, and can shelf the need to keep up with the Kardashians. Living our lives however we choose is a freedom that most of our parents didn’t have. We don’t have to fit into the “married with a house and two kids” photo, unless we want to. We have the courage to choose and seek out our own scenario that makes us happy.

When we stop worrying about what we don’t have and embrace all the things we do have, we can enjoy the freedom that comes with being 40 and single. Every new day is an opportunity to spread your wings and fly. Now that’s pretty damn amazing!

Tonia DeCosimo

Author on Dating and Relationships

Tonia, a successful entrepreneur, received her B.S. degree in Elementary Education and English from Manhattan College. Her career path, however, took her into the fields of marketing, publishing, and sales consulting in which she has worked successfully for the past 25 years. During that time, she has built and managed several companies including her own.

When she’s not busy building her career or dishing out dating advice, Tonia is the proud step-mom of two teenagers, resides on Long Island with her husband.

To read more of Tonia’s work and learn about her book Single and Not Settling, visit toniadecosimo.com or follower her on Twitter at @ToniaDeCosimo.

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