How to Own Being 40 and Single

The ladies from Sex and the City owning being 40 and single.

For those of you who are in your 40s, hitting the dating scene might appear daunting. Maybe you haven’t been single in decades, or maybe you’ve taken a break from dating. Whatever the reason, being 40 and single is definitely different than dating in your twenties. But before you begin to envy the twentysomethings swilling their Cosmos at the bar, keep mind that while dating changes, as you get older, it often changes for the better.  In fact, dating in your 40s might be the most fun you’ve ever had, period. So unleash your inner Samantha Jones, and insist upon having a great time.

Here’s what you should do to own being 40 and single:

Only Date When You Feel Like It
You’re wiser and more confident than you’ve ever been. That’s why you shouldn’t feel obligated to date 24/7, but only when you want to. Want to stay in and catch up on your Netflix queue for the next few weeks? Knock yourself out. Itching for a girls’ weekend? Go for it. At your age, you know you don’t have to date, and that the right one(s) will be ready when you are.

Make the First Move
Younger women tend to be intimidated, or put off, by making the first move. But now you know better. You don’t want to play games anymore. (Ain’t nobody got time for that!) So if you’re interested in a man, don’t hesitate about letting him know it. Not only is making a move on a man empowering, but it also saves time on guessing whether he’s right for you.

Speak Your Mind
Dating at 40 is no longer like an awkward business interview in which you cross off a list of things that you “should” and “shouldn’t” discuss. You know what you want and what you like and what you don’t like. Most importantly, you know who you are and you like her. So go ahead and ask an offbeat question, tell a dirty joke or share your feelings – yes, even on the first date. The gloves are off, and remember that authenticity and honesty are sexy as hell.

Travel the Globe in Search of Mr. Right
Thankfully the days of scraping pennies together for a cheap date are over. At your age, you likely have the financial freedom that eluded you in your twenties, so take advantage of your bank account! Book that Mediterranean singles cruise or rent a summer beach house and peruse the beach for babes. Indulge your international suitor who wants to meet you in real life. The world is your dating oyster!

Date the Younger Guy
Sure, he might not have staying power – as a long-term relationship, that is – but that hot younger guy who’s eyeing you will no doubt rock your world in more ways than one. You might learn more about the Millennial generation than you care to know, but he’ll undoubtedly be enthralled with you and probably also give you multiple orgasms, so it’ll be totally worth it. And who knows? You two could be the new Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher.

Laugh off Rejection
In your twenties, being rejected by a guy would leave you barraged in your bedroom, crying over a tub of Ben & Jerry’s for days. Having been around the block a few times, you now know that rejection gets you closer to finding your perfect match. If a man sends you a “Sorry, it’s not you, it’s me” message, simply hit delete, silently thank him for doing you a favour and move on. You know you deserve better, and you do!

Treat Yo’Self
Before that big date, buy that sexy piece of lingerie you’ve been eyeing (even if it’s for your eyes only). Indulge in a relaxing mani/pedi and a blowout, and wear that Little Black Dress that’s been hiding in your closet for months. Treating yourself and looking your best shouldn’t be saved for only special occasions, and you now have the confidence to pull it off.

Dating at 40 needn’t be stressful or difficult as long as you focus on enjoying yourself along the way. Keeping in mind that dating is always a journey, and not focusing on the destination, you’re sure to learn and rejoice things about yourself as well as the partners you meet along the way.

Brianne Hogan

Freelance Writer

Brianne is a Canadian freelance writer who’s been writing about dating and relationships longer than any of her relationships. She applies a “do what I say, not do what I do” approach to her articles, and believes you can find Your Person mostly when you aren’t looking. So enjoy your life, and eat lots of cheese (at least that’s her motto). Her byline’s been featured on Thrillist, The Huffington Post, HelloGiggles, Elle Canada, Flare, Awesomeness TV, among others.

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