What Women Over 40 Do and Don’t Want from Their Men

A group of women in their 40s cheersing.

After speaking with numerous men in their 40s, I’ve found that the majority of them look at women over 40 in two ways; they either love the fact that they’re older and more mature and know what they want and how to handle the men they’re with, or they feel that women over 40 are too old, single for a reason, and most likely difficult to deal with. The truth is that no matter what the age, every woman is unique, but women over 40 have definite ideas about dating and what they want from the men they’re with.

Women over 40 don’t want to be compared to younger women.
There are many women over the age of 40 that look as if they were 30 and of course, always appreciate a compliment about looking great. However, they don’t want to be compared to a 20- or 30-year-old. After all, they’re 40 and more mature. A woman who’s 40 and older is looking at her life and saying, “Where has the time gone?”  But she is also looking at her age and thinking, “I know who I am and what I want.”

Women over 40 do want romance.
Women over 40 still want romance. As a matter of fact, they want it more at this age than in their 20’ or 30’s. It is not just about “wham bam, thank you mam”; they want to be wooed and they want to feel a connection. Many of these women have full-time careers and are looking for that guy to make them feel special and appreciated after the workday is over.

Women over 40 don’t want to play games.
Men need to realize that most women who are dating over the age of 40 are serious about finding that one special guy to spend the rest of their life with. They aren’t looking to play games, don’t want to waste precious time since they’re getting older, and want to settle down. Perhaps these women have been married and divorced and have learned from those relationships and are ready to get it right the next time. And if they haven’t been married, I’m sure they’ve dated enough to be more in tune with what they do and don’t want in a partner.

Women over 40 do want someone in their age demographic.
A man over the age of 40 may be looking for someone younger but what he should take into consideration is that women the same age as him are the ones that he can relate to since they share a common demographic. They’ve experienced the same music, movies, politics, social experiences, life lessons, and more. These are the women who are interested in him and who could be a great partner for him. It’s frustrating to see a man over 40 trying to pick up women in a club filled with millennials. Often he doesn’t speak their language, understand their music, or see life in the same way they do. He appears as if he’s either trying to recapture his youth or just wants some young arm-candy.

Men have their own preference as to which age bracket of women they’re looking to date. We all go through different stages in life, but just remember, as women age, we become wiser and we also become finer, just like good wine.

To read more of Tonia’s work and learn about her upcoming memoir, visit toniadecosimo.com or follower her on Twitter at @ToniaDeCosimo.

Tonia DeCosimo

Author on Dating and Relationships

Tonia, a successful entrepreneur, received her B.S. degree in Elementary Education and English from Manhattan College. Her career path, however, took her into the fields of marketing, publishing, and sales consulting in which she has worked successfully for the past 25 years. During that time, she has built and managed several companies including her own.

When she’s not busy building her career or dishing out dating advice, Tonia is the proud step-mom of two teenagers, resides on Long Island with her husband.

To read more of Tonia’s work and learn about her book Single and Not Settling, visit toniadecosimo.com or follower her on Twitter at @ToniaDeCosimo.

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