Does He Like Me? If It’s Hard to Tell, Look for These Signs

A girl wondering "does he like me" smiling and laughing as a guy friend carries her on his back on the beach.

I don’t know how many times my friends and I have asked each other, “Do you think he likes me?” If I’m being honest, men can be pretty confusing sometimes. Unless they’re going all-in and putting in the effort, you never really know where they stand. But according to dating experts, men may not be as hard to read as you think.

“I find this a lot more straightforward than most women make it out to be,” life and love coach, Veronica Grant tells The Date Mix. Sometimes you’ll notice little tells through their body language. Other times, their behavior will give them away. So if the guy you’re interested in isn’t being super clear on how he feels about you, here are some signs that indicate he might actually like you.

His pupils dilate when he looks at you.
This one may be hard to see. But an eye tracking experiment conducted by researchers at Function found that people who had larger pupils during the course of a first date were more likely to ask for a second date. That’s because people’s eyes tend to dilate when they’re excited about something or someone. It’s a physiological response that we can’t control. If you can manage to spot this without making it awkward, it’s definitely a good clue that your man is interested.

He tries to make eye contact with you.
The same eye tracking study found that eye contact is a big indicator of interest. During a conversation, people will make eye contact an average of 11 percent of the time. But participants in the study who felt little to no spark with their dates only locked eyes with them about seven percent of the time. In general, people like to look and linger on things they like. If the guy you’re interested in tries to catch your eye, he definitely likes what he sees.

He leans closer to you when you’re talking.
Pay attention to how much space is between the two of you when you’re talking. People tend to lean closer towards those they like and create distance with those they don’t. It shows that they’re comfortable and enjoy being around the other person. So if he’s finding ways to get up close and personal with you to the point that you’re lightly touching, it’s a not-so-subtle clue that he likes you.

He asks questions that are designed to get to know you better.
It goes without saying, but a quick “You up?” in the middle of a night is not a question designed to get to know you better. When a guy likes you, he’ll be genuinely interested in getting to know you. He might ask questions about your family dynamic, what it was like growing up, your hobbies, and other little things you’ve never told anyone before. If he’s asking questions, he’s curious about you and wants to learn more.

He remembers the little things about you.
In general, it’s easy to forget a lot of things people tell you. But when a man is interested in you, he’ll pay attention. For instance, if you mention you’re having dinner with your mom that night, he might ask you how it was the next day without prompting. He might remember details like how you take your coffee or the type of beer that you like. He may not remember everything. But if he mentions the most random things about you, that means he’s listening and paying attention. Bonus points if he goes out of his way to do something he knows you’d like.

He follows through on his word.
When a guy likes you, his word is good. He’ll show up when he’s supposed to, he’ll call or text you when he says he will, and he won’t make promises he can’t keep. If he really needs to cancel, he’ll let you know as soon as possible and will make it a point to reschedule. He not only likes you, but he respects you. He won’t ever leave you hanging because he wants you to see him as reliable.

He’s consistent.
“Men aren’t dumb,” Wade Brill, dating and lifestyle coach, says. “When they want something, they will go after it.” When you really like a guy it’s easy to hold onto all the sweet moments where they made you feel special, and ignore all the other moments when they made you doubt yourself. But if he blows hot and cold, or acknowledges your presence one day and pretends you don’t exist the next, he’s not that interested in you. It’s not always easy to be consistent. But when someone likes you, they’ll make the effort to show you that you matter to them.

It’s not always easy to tell if someone actually likes you or not. But if you pay attention to these signs, you’ll have a pretty good idea.

Kristine Fellizar

Kristine is a Los Angeles-based writer who specializes in topics related to sex, dating, health, and wellness. Her work can be seen on Bustle, HelloGiggles, AwesomenessTV, and Brit.Co, among others.

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