Avoid These 6 First Date Pitfalls

A couple's feet as they lay down on a picnic blanket on a first date.

A first date is like a preliminary interview. There is some initial interest, but you don’t have the job yet. To keep yourself in the running, avoid these first date pitfalls.

1. Checking your phone.

Playing with your phone sends a not-so-subtle message that you would rather be somewhere else or with someone else. If you are expecting an important call, give your date a heads up at the beginning of the date. If you need to take an unexpected call during your date, provide some context before you excuse yourself.

Examples:
“My brother is calling. I’ll be back in 2 minutes”
“Quick work call, but I’ll handle it quickly.”

You shouldn’t leave the table abruptly or leave your date feeling like he or she is getting in the way of your personal business.

2. Drinking too much.

Enjoy a cocktail, maybe two, but do not overdo it.
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It’s hard to appear attractive when you’re falling down, saying weird things, dancing with too much “flair”, or forgetting the point of your story. It’s especially easy to test your limits when you’re feeling nervous, but those extra drinks will come back to haunt you. If you have tested–and exceeded–your limits, get yourself into a cab and call it a night.

3. Taking artsy pictures of your dinner.

Once your food arrives, please start eating it. Asking your date to pause so that you can have a photo shoot with your lasagna is disruptive and annoying. Keep your focus on your company.

4. Discussing your life drama.

Keep the date conversations light and fun. Do not discuss your finances, your family issues, or those times you made bad decisions.
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It’s hard to appear attractive when you’re falling down, saying weird things, dancing with too much “flair”, or forgetting the point of your story. It’s especially easy to test your limits when you’re feeling nervous, but those extra drinks will come back to haunt you. If you have tested–and exceeded–your limits, get yourself into a cab and call it a night.

5. Bringing up your ex.

If you want to fast track your first date to your last date, discussing your ex is the way to go. If you catch yourself beginning sentences with “I used to date someone who…” or “oh yeah, my ex and I…” you are setting yourself up for failure.

6. Laying it on too thick.

Coming on too strong is a huge turnoff.
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If anything physical is going to happen, let it happen naturally. What does “naturally” mean? Well, watch for the signals. If she’s rushing to exit the vehicle, she does not want to be kissed. If he’s discussing his early day at the office the next morning, he’s probably not interested in spending more time with you that night. Just relax.

 

All GIFs courtesy of giphy.com

Joan Actually

Dating Expert

Joan is a writer and dating expert.

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