First dates are not always easy. Between the nerves, the stress to make a great first impression, and making sure you bring you’re A-game to the conversation, it can feel a little overwhelming. Because of the pressure we put on first dates, it can be easy to fall victim to first date conversation pitfalls.
We talked to author, motivational speaker, and Huffington Post contributor, Carole Brody Fleet, about the major first date conservation pitfalls and how to avoid them.
1. Not giving your date the floor. The thing with a conversation is that it takes two people. If you totally run the show, by either not letting your date talk or constantly interrupting, you’re putting yourself in a bad position. “If you feel like you’re talking too much,” says Fleet, “your date likely feels the same way.” That’s when it’s time to take a breather and let your date do the talking.
2. Ranting. We are all very passionate people in a our own ways and for some of us that passion can get the best of us, so we go off in tangents of rants that are hard to come back from. Ranting on a first date–even if it is about something that you’re very passionate about–is never fun for the person sitting across the table from you. This is definitely something to keep in mind as more and more politicians start announcing their run for the presidency; nothing induces a rant quite like politics.
3. Talking about your ex. Although talking about your ex is a huge first date no-no on a first date, Fleet says there’s a little bit of wiggle room for the topic, just don’t get carried away: “It is perfectly normal to reveal a few details of how your previous relationship situation ended,” she says, “However, discussing your past too soon will give the impression that you are not yet ready to date.”
4. Shooting down what your date says. While it’s fine to disagree, you need to be respectful about your tone. If your date starts telling you that they think Justin Bieber is some sort of musical genius and you think very strongly otherwise, stay calm and state your case. Don’t make your date feel badly because you share different opinions.
5. Bringing up awkward personal topics. First date conversation should stay on the light side. Fleet explains that there’s no reason to discuss personal finances or family issues. For starters, your date doesn’t need to know how much you owe on your house or the intimate details of, say, a sick loved one, especially on a first date. “The same thing goes for any kind of issues within your family ― estate battles, divorce battles, custody battles, etc,” explains Fleet, “These are definitely discussions that you should have if a relationship establishes; however, leading with these kinds of disclosures on a first date screams ‘Way too much information way too soon.’”