So you’ve got a hot first date. Fantastic. Let’s make this one special, shall we? I know, you go on a lot of these things, and when you’re online dating it can seem a like you have a never-ending stream of first dates. But let me ask you a tough question… Have any of them been memorable? Are these interactions producing a sincere connection or a new relationship?
If you answered no, then you need to take charge and shake things up. I’m going to give you a few tips that will help you flip your typical, boring first date on its head and create an experience that’s more memorable. No need to rely on the other person to carry the date for you, or to simply let things happen. I don’t care if you’re a man or woman; you get to lead the experience here on out.
Here are five things you can do to create a memorable first date:
1. Make the first few seconds count.
When we talk about first impressions, what we’re really talking about are those crucial, make-or-break first few seconds with someone new. We size people up super quick. The beautiful thing is we are 100% in control of how we project ourselves.
I tested this theory out several times in my dating years. One time, I wore a bright pink blazer to a date. I even asked our waiter if it made me look fat. The girl couldn’t stop laughing; it was so random and fun. She referred to it as a great “talking piece.” It sure was, and I was fortunate to have her in my life for several months after that. So do yourself a favor, find a way stand out from the crowd and make your first few moments memorable
2. Lead the date to a new location.
If you’ve got a lunch date, for instance, meet at a mutually agreed-upon restaurant. As soon as you both arrive, say something like, “Come on, I know a great spot,” and start walking. If may throw your date off at first, but that’s part of the fun. When they say, “Wait… what?” grab them by the hand and say, “You thought we were eating here? You’re funny.” This sends so many wonderful cues to your date. It conveys spontaneity, charm and boldness, among other things. You’ll trigger all kinds of curiosity and create a memorable moment.
Chances are, if they hold your hand when you’re walking away from restaurant #1, you’re most likely easily locked in for date #2 with them, all in the first few seconds. Imagine that.
3. Teasing is pleasing.
Since we’ve all agreed you don’t want to be boring, can you do me a favor? Bust their balls. This may sound weird but think about kids in the schoolyard. You want to frame your conversation as playful and fun. I suggest taking something completely innocuous about someone and dryly teasing them about it. For example, if you’re talking about movies and they’ve never seen a classic, give them a hard time. If they spill guacamole on their shirt, feel free to laugh at them about it, before adding, “No, it’s cute.” Challenging each other, flirtatious banter, and friendly teasing will take your conversation past the normal “get to know you” chit chat and onto something more.
4. Simple touching.
Touching something casually is a simple test to see where you stand with your date at any given time. Leading your date by offering your hand to hold is a great example. It’s a way to initiate contact that’s respectful and romantic. Are they warm to your hand or repelled by it? If they grab it, it’s a good sign things are going well.
While you’re talking to your date, you could even gently touch their arm while leaning in. You’re testing the waters by sending them the best cues you have during any date: body language. You’ve subconsciously let them know that you feel comfortable with them. If they touch you back later on, it’s a sign they’re interested too.
When these events are all rolled up into one, the experience can be pretty powerful for both parties. So go in with confidence and intention and you’ll do great.