For many dating can be fun. For others, the thought of dating instills downright terror. Meeting with strangers, engaging in awkward conversations, hitting it off with a person only to be left heartbroken, for some people all of these are a better fate than leaving the house. Some people hate putting in the work, want to skip the process altogether, and dive right into being with The One.
Thanks to technology, and the frequency in which we’re able to meet people and go out on dates, it’s incredibly easy to become complacent about dating. We start to think of it as a “numbers game” and that notion either turns some of us right off from dating or encourages our sloth-like tendencies.
So which one are you? Do you hate dating or are you merely struggling to leave your couch?
First Date Feels
Before going out on a date, how do you usually feel? Most people feel anxious. It could be a mix of anxious excitement or straight up nervousness. This is normal. Everyone dislikes sitting across from a stranger, asking clichéd questions, while pretending to be perfectly normal about the whole situation. It’s a gross set-up but this is how we get to know people in 2019.
If you’re a lazy person, you might find these first date conversations snooze-worthy not just because they’re a little dry but because you’re expecting the other person to impress you. A lazy person doesn’t bother to ask the insightful questions or give themselves to a banter. You depend on your date to do that for the both of you. Sure, you might fall in line but you don’t initiate. To put it bluntly: you’re being a taker. The reality is, your date is looking for a compatible match in you. If you’re not matching them with inquisitive questions and engaging energy, you’re dates are going to suck.
Are You Impatient?
Patience is a virtue, especially in relationships, but it’s a virtue that’s often overlooked in the dating department. Most people don’t want to play the long game and take it slow, especially if they hate dating. You might find yourself attaching to someone too quickly because you don’t want to be in limbo land for another second. However, getting to know someone and building a foundation does take time. So even if you hate dating, attempting to enjoy the process will serve you moving forward and help eliminate the people who aren’t for you.
If you’re a lazy dater, then you’re not only extremely impatient with dating but you also expect immediate fireworks. If you don’t feel a spark right away, then you see that as a reasonable excuse not to put in any more time or effort to get to know anyone. On the flip side, if you do feel a spark, you also assume this person is already The One, and therefore doesn’t require much more attention or energy on your part because the connection is already there. Hm, tell me again why are you single?
Are You Even Trying to Date?
People with a love-hate relationship to dating usually take dating hiatuses where they can rest up and recharge before they throw themselves back into the fire. That’s because if you want a relationship, you’ve gotta stay in the game. Otherwise how will people know you’re single and ready to mingle? That means not just signing up for dating apps but keeping your options open whenever you set foot in a Starbucks. A lazy person doesn’t sign up for dating apps nor are they even remotely curious about other people whenever they step out into the world. And that’s another thing – if your couch and Netflix are your go-tos every Saturday night, then how do you expect to meet someone? Making an effort even just once in a while to do something out of your routine will expand and extend your opportunities to meet someone new.
We all have mixed feelings about dating, and we all get into a rut, too. It’s certainly easier to stay home or hang out with our tried-and-true Netflix show than to risk an uncomfortable hour or two on a date. But if you want to meet someone, you’re going to have to leave the house sometime. Who knows? You might actually like it.