Friends in general are hard to come by. But loyal friends are even harder to find. If you ask anyone you know to rank the qualities they value most in a friend, I guarantee you that loyalty is somewhere up there.
Loyalty is one of the most important qualities a friend can have. When you know someone’s loyal, you know they’re reliable. You know you can trust them, and that they’ll always have your back. It’s what sets your true friends apart from the rest of the pack.
Everyone has their own idea on what loyalty means to them. If you’re wondering whether your friends are loyal, there are a few things loyal friends will always do for each other no matter what.
They celebrate each other’s successes.
A truly loyal friend is never going to be jealous of your success. Instead, they’ll be genuinely happy for you whenever you get promoted or engaged. They’ve been through it all with you, so your wins are their wins.
They keep it real.
A good friend is someone who won’t always tell you what you want to hear, but will always tell you what you need to hear.
“Friends should be supportive of you, but be able to tell you when you’re wrong,” LaQuista Erinna, licensed clinical social worker and author, tells The Date Mix. “This goes both ways. When a real friend calls you on your crap, be open to the criticism without getting in your feelings about it.”
They always make up.
All relationships have their share of ups and downs. When you’re friends with someone for a long time, you’re guaranteed to fight at some point. But, according to Erinna, “Loyal friends will be able to come together after adversity as long as they’re not compromising their own integrity by doing so.”
They stand by each other.
A loyal friend will always stand by you when times are tough. You know you can get through breakups, illnesses, and other life drama because they’ll always be there by your side. You’ll never feel like you’re alone.
They’ll also be there for you when you get yourself into some trouble. As Erinna says, they may not always agree with your choices, but they’ll still provide you with emotional support. They’ll always be there to catch you whenever you fall, and will never make you feel worse about the situation with, “I told you so’s.”
They stand up for each other.
People will say all kinds of things about you. But a loyal friend will always stand up for you no matter what. If someone’s spreading lies about you, they’ll come right back with the truth.
They set and respect each other’s boundaries.
According to relationship coach Tiffany Toombs, loyal friends set their own boundaries and stay true to their individual values and beliefs.
“Someone who is able to be loyal to their needs and values above all else are more likely to be loyal to those around them,” she explains.
Those who have no idea what their values are or are unable to be loyal to their own needs are more prone to being in codependent friendships. That type of loyalty doesn’t come from a healthy place.
They stay invested in the friendship.
Like all relationships, friendships can fade if only one person is willing to put in the effort to make it last. “Friendship is a two way street,” certified life and relationship coach, Michelle Fraley, says. “People feel loved and cared about when what they offer in a relationship is reciprocated.” When you and your friend are still making an effort to stay in each other’s lives after so much time has passed, that’s loyalty.
It isn’t always easy to know whether your friends are loyal. But if you notice the above happening in your friendships, you know you have some loyal friends.