6 Tips for Anyone Who Feels Like Giving Up on Love

A woman who was thinking of giving up on love, sitting in front of a red wall thinking about how she feels.

Thinking of giving up on love? I get it. I’ve been there. Actually, I think we all have. 

Love is the most complicated thing in this life… or maybe we just over complicate it? Either way, it can mess with your mind and your heart, and often does.

But when it’s good, it’s amazing. And I want your life to be filled with amazing-ness. So if you’ve had a tough time when it comes to love, and are thinking about giving up on it altogether—wait a moment.

I know you don’t really want to give up, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article, right?

So here are some powerful reminders for anyone who feels like giving up on love:

You’re awesome.
When you’ve had a string of terrible dating experiences, or failed relationships, it can make the best of us look inwards and wonder what’s wrong with us. Why is this love thing so hard? There must be something wrong with me!

If you’ve had relationships or a string of dates where a similar issue or complaint has come up repetitively, then it might be time to figure out how you can become a better partner.

But, if this isn’t the case, then chances are the problem isn’t you. Bad dates and failed relationships are all part of the deal when it comes to love. Don’t let that knock your confidence, and keep you from getting back into the ring.

The way people act is more about them, than you.
When people ghost, lie, or mess with your feelings, the first thing most of us do is take that on ourselves. We think it’s because we’re not good enough or because we did something wrong. We forget that other people’s actions are their actions, and totally out of our control. We don’t know what anybody else is thinking or feeling, or what point of view they’re coming from.

So the next time someone treats you poorly, remember it says a whole lot more about them than it does about you.

But be careful that you don’t continue to allow people to treat you badly. As soon as someone does, that’s your cue to leave.

Enjoy the single life.
We talk about self-love a lot these days, but that’s because it’s incredibly important, and is a key part of wholeness. Too many of us feel incomplete until we’ve found external love, and then we place all our happiness on that other person; which is extremely unhealthy.

The truth is, you’re whole on your own. And if you don’t feel that way, it’s time to work on loving yourself exactly as you are. Being single is the best time to do this. Build yourself up. Take advantage of all this free time you have, and use it to embrace the beautiful person you already are.

This is the best way to attract the right person into your life—but only when you’re ready.

Are you actually open to receive love right now?
The reason why so many of us struggle to attract the right partner, or find a healthy, loving relationship, is because we have an underlying belief that we don’t deserve to be loved.

And if you don’t believe you deserve love, it won’t come to you. Even if you think you want love, and you say you do, you might be sabotaging yourself in certain ways that are pushing it away from you.

If you want to experience real, selfless love, you have to open up your heart and be willing to welcome it in.

Find a higher vibration.
If you’re ready to give up on love, that’s a strong sign that somewhere deep down you don’t believe you’re ever going to find it; and this indicates that you’re operating in a really low emotional state.

When we focus on thoughts that make us feel guilt, shame, grief, fear, or rage, we make ourselves feel low, and it’s so difficult to pick yourself up out of that state into a higher one—unless you consciously choose to change your thoughts.

Change those thoughts for new, empowering ones that support you finding love, and you’ll change the entire direction of your life.

There are 7 billion people in this world.
You’ve gotta like those odds, right? So what if you’ve had a couple of bad dates, or disastrous relationships? So what if you’ve had a hundred of them? That’s still a fraction compared to the infinite possibilities waiting for you out there in this wide world.

So quit feeling down, remember who you are, and know that you will find love.

Shani Jay

Bestselling Author and Empowerment Coach

Shani is a bestselling author, empowerment coach for women, and self-love advocate. She is the author of Bloom, The Babe Bible, Glow Getter, and Light Up Your Life; and her writing has been featured on many internationally recognized platforms including The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, and Teen Vogue.

​In 2016 Shani founded The Glow Getter Tribe – a self-love & kindness movement which helps young girls & women worldwide feel happy, confident and beautiful starting from the inside, out.

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