Are Your Online Dating Messages Too Long?

Women looking at a dating message.

Back in the good old days of online dating, people didn’t message or chat, they emailed—long, introductory emails that were almost like, well, letters. (Remember those?) Now that the technology has evolved, those early emails seem silly. But when you’re messaging someone online, it’s hard to say how long a message should be? Is a quick hello best or is it better to share a little bit more about yourself. What’s too short and what’s too long when it comes to sending an online dating message?

To help get the answer, the online dating site Zoosk looked into the data of its over 38 million members and found what the best length for a first message is. Turns out it’s actually shorter than a tweet.

The best length for an online dating first message is 61–69 characters.

So if you’re been writing longer messages and not getting a lot of replies, you may want to try shortening it up a bit.

In addition to the messaging sweet spot, Zoosk also found that saying anything more than a simple hi or hello will help you up your chances of getting a response too. Messages that are over 17 characters get 17% more responses than those that are shorter than that. So if your go-to message is something like, Hey, how are you? You may want to put a tiny bit more effort in to help your chances.

Because as it turns out, a little bit can go a long way.


Megan Murray

Editor-in-Chief of The Date Mix

Megan Murray is the Editor-in-Chief of The Date Mix and works at the online dating site and app Zoosk, that has over 40 million members worldwide. She splits her time between writing for The Date Mix and working on the Zoosk product, which gives her behind-the-scenes knowledge about the world of online dating.

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