50+ Tinder Opening Lines that NEVER Work

A close up on a guy’s fingers as he taps out a Tinder opening line on his phone.

In the age of online dating, there are a million and one ways for your love life to go right and just as many ways to do it wrong. The perfect opening line on a dating app like Tinder can be a straight shot from your phone into an unsuspecting heart. A bad line will leave you with an empty inbox, except for, maybe, a couple of hard rejections.

On Tinder, opening lines are oftentimes your chance to make it or break it. Bad opening lines can be bad because they’re corny, thoughtless, overused, or offensive. If you send a bad opening line, not only will you not get responses but you might get reported for offensive behavior. In the end, nobody is really winning.

We’ve pulled together a list of over 50 opening lines that just plain don’t work, so you’ll have an idea of what to avoid.

If you’re thinking about sending off one of these cheesy pickup lines you can find around the web or something that looks like them, give it a second thought.

  1. Are you my appendix? Because I don’t know what you do, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
  2. I lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you instead?
  3. I’m on the phone with Apple complaining, because iTunes doesn’t have you listed as the hottest single.
  4. If you were a vegetable you’d be a cutecumber.
  5. Are you Netflix? Because I could watch you for hours.
  6. Are you a 90 degree angle? Because you’re looking right to me.
  7. My doctor says I’m lacking vitamin U.
  8. Hey are you a raccoon? Because I’m trash, but I still think you’d dig me.
  9. Are you a tazer? Because you’re absolutely stunning.
  10. Your hand looks heavy. Can I hold it for you?
  11. Are you Google, because you have everything I’m searching for.
  12. Do you like Mexican food? Because I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my baeritto.
  13. Wyd?
  14. I’m wearing gloves, because you’re too hot to handle.
  15. Was your mother a beaver? Because DAAAAMN cutie.
  16. What’s a smart, attractive person like myself doing without your phone number?
  17. Sorry it took me so long to message.
  18. Are you Papa Bear’s porridge? Because you’re hot.
  19. Damn girl are you Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.
  20. Is your middle name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.
  21. Hey, I just saved a baby seal. Wanna hang out?
  22. What’s up beautiful?
  23. Hey.
  24. Is your last name Waldo? Because a girl like you is hard to find.
  25. Do you have life alert? Because I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up.
  26. Are you a bank loan? Because you have my interest.
  27. If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
  28. Good thing I have my library card, because I’m totally checking you out.
  29. Did you just fart? Because you blow me away.
  30. Hey, are you German? Because I wanna be Ger-man.
  31. Can you touch my hand? I want to tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel.
  32. Hey are you free tonight? Because I don’t have any money.
  33. If you were a president, you’d be Babe-raham Lincoln
  34. Hey, do you sing? Because you look karaokay.
  35. On a scale of 1 to America how free are you tonight?
  36. If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.
  37. If you were a transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine.
  38. That 98.6° must be Celsius, because you hot.
  39. Are you a fish? Because I’m going to keep throwing out lines until you bite.
  40. Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koalifications.
  41. What’s new in the wonderful world of you?
  42. Hi my name is ____, but you can call me anytime.
  43. Are you a tower? Because Eiffel for you.
  44. Do you like reptiles? Because Iguana be with you.
  45. Hey are you vigorous exercise? Because you take my breath away.
  46. Call me Shrek, because I’m head ogre heels for you.
  47. Your lips look lonely would they like to meet mine.
  48. Do you have 11 protons? Because you’re sodium fine.
  49. Hey the bakery called they’re short one cutie pie.
  50. Hey, are you my parents? Because I wish I had a healthy relationship with you.
  51. I forgot the password to my account and every time I press “password hint” it keeps telling me “speak with the most beautiful person you see and you will find out.”
  52. Let me tie your shoes, cause I don’t want you falling for anyone else.
  53. Hey are you a piece of trash? Because as someone who cares for the environment, I feel obligated to pick you up.
  54. Best smile on Tinder. You must use Crest, lol.

These are far from the only ways you can mess up a Tinder opening line, but these are definitely ones to avoid. The best policy when reaching out to someone you’re interested in is to be genuine, funny, and original. If you’re sending one of these bad lines out to 100 matches, it’s easy to tell. Do yourself a favor: do better than these and keep on swiping.

Alex Bocknek

Alex Bocknek is the senior editor of The Date Mix and works at Zoosk, the online dating service. He’s also a recovering music critic and an aspiring fiction writer (probably lost) on the way to an independent bookstore near you. He can be found occasionally musing about politics, philosophy, and love in the modern world.

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