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How to Write Tinder Messages That Get Replies

A guy writing Tinder messages while in bed with his dog next to him.

Crafting a great Tinder message isn’t always easy. But, dating apps have been around long enough that there are now finally some solid ideas about what works and what doesn’t. But, it can still be tricky at first to know what to say to people you match with.

What makes an engaging conversation starter? To some people, and in some ways, sending the first message online is more nerve-wracking than walking up to someone in a bar to start a conversation. So to make it just a little bit easier, here are a few suggestions on how to write a Tinder message that you’ll get replies to.

6 Suggestions for Writing Tinder Messages

Don’t lead with “hey.”

If you send a message that just says “hey,” or “hi,” or some version of what’s basically a wave, most people will ignore it. Women on dating apps receive a lot of “hey”s with absolutely no follow-through. “Hey” is not compelling at all, and doesn’t give the person receiving the message anything to go off of. 

Utilize the GIF feature

Everyone loves a good GIF. Your mom loves them, your boss loves them, and chances are, a prospective date loves them. Send an Adele or Lionel Richie GIF and the recipient may just appreciate your pop culture reference enough to respond. If they don’t, feel free to poke a little fun at your attempt. “Not an Adele fan? I guess “Hello” was a few years ago now…”

Ask a question

And we don’t mean “how are you?” Ask an interesting question that actually inspires a response. Are you bored at home and can’t decide what to pull up on Netflix? Reach out with a real-life question. “So, I’m browsing Netflix and have absolutely no idea what to watch. What’s the best thing you’ve been binging lately?”

Anything along those lines will most likely get someone to respond, and hopefully also introduce a natural conversation about entertainment, which will lead to what you two may or may not have in common.

Use their profile

Prove that you’ve read a bit about them and aren’t just responding mindlessly to a hot profile picture. “I really enjoy Harry Potter too! Who doesn’t? What’s your favorite book to movie interpretation?” Or, “I’ve never been skiing and I’m so impressed that you go so often. Did you grow up skiing?” “You root for the Green Bay Packers but live in Seattle—how’d that happen? Are you from Wisconsin?” “How did you decide you wanted to teach high school?”

Any part of their profile can be expanded upon in a Tinder message. Prove that you’re on the app to engage with people. It’ll invoke a response because people really like talking about themselves and will most likely take the time to respond if you ask something they care about.

Spell their name correctly

And use their name! Make sure your message doesn’t sound like something you’ve copied and pasted to 100 different people on the app. “Hey, Samantha! How’d you get so involved in the knitting community? I can’t believe you handmade all of your Christmas gifts last year. That’s incredible.” Personalization is key when it comes to Tinder messages.

Using someone’s name is a great touch, but make it even more personalized than that. Above all else, don’t spell their name wrong. No one wants to talk to someone who spells their name “Brittany” while it clearly states that her name is “Brittney.” Double-check before sending the message off and it will make a difference.

Send the message at a good time

After work is the best time to message people on dating apps. It’s tough to receive a Tinder message at 11:00 a.m. while you’re at work because it’s not easy to remember to respond later that night.

By the time people are catching up on text messages and Instagram stories, your Tinder message may be lost in the shuffle. If you really have your eye on someone, make sure your timing is spot on.

Utilizing Tinder is a strange kind of science. If you want people to respond to your Tinder message, make sure you’re intentional, kind, and interesting—just as you’d like someone to be when messaging you. You can do it! Look at past messages that haven’t received responses and don’t make the same mistakes when trying to connect with someone new.

*The Date Mix is owned by Zoosk, Inc. Zoosk, Inc. is not affiliated, associated, authorized, endorsed by, or in any way officially connected with Tinder, or any of their subsidiaries or affiliates. Tinder is a registered trademark of their respective owners.

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