You may not even be looking for it… You’re just busy being you—working, hanging out with friends, having fun. Then one evening you’re sipping on a drink at a party, chatting up your friends, you flip your hair like a starlet, and then (as if on cue) a cyclone in tight jeans shows up and you’re struck. Okay, so he looks a little younger than you but what are you going to do, card him? You get together a few times, no big deal, right? Until those warm, fuzzy feelings creep in and next thing you know you’re in a relationship with a 10 year age gap. Gulp. Now what?
Don’t panic, moisturize, and get your priorities in a row. Depending on where you are in life, dating a younger man (even a significantly younger man) can be a good thing. But it will help if you know your own heart and where you’re going in life.
Ask yourself the following:
– Do you usually fall hard and have serious relationships?
– Do you want to get married soon and start a family?
– Do you worry what people think?
If you said ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you may want to put on your big girl shoes and walk away. You need to be confident and risk averse to date someone so much younger and not give a damn what anyone thinks. In other words, being called a cougar shouldn’t bother you one bit, not to mention a few jabs on social media about your boy toy.
Now that we got that out of the way, ask yourself a few more questions:
– Are you recently single and looking for fun?
– Do you have an open mind?
– Do you have a secret crush on Harry Styles?
If you’re an older woman looking to date a younger man, there are some excellent benefits to consider:
1. You’re equals in the relationship.
Younger men are used to things being equal between men and women, so there are less assumptions about who does what. You both pay when you go out. You both do the chores. And don’t be surprised if he uses more hair gel than you!
2. Younger men have less baggage.
With less of a past the future looks pretty bright. Anything seems possible for a guy who hasn’t really been stung. You can make it up as you go along.
3. They’re physically more appealing.
I don’t have to expound here but a young athletic body is nice to have around and not just to move furniture. And let’s not forget the fun factor! Late night movies, dancing, discovering new music, and having new experiences.
4. It’s empowering.
What’s interesting is what a younger man can do for you emotionally. For the first time, you may be the one in charge. It’s empowering having a slightly more dominant role. And you also may enjoy nurturing someone younger. It’s very rewarding giving guidance to someone you believe in and care about.
5. Getting serious is always possible.
If there’s a big gap, the more likely scenario is that you give each other some wonderful gifts and move on. If it does work out then thank the god of love! You can possibly have a long life with someone wonderful who keeps his hair and drives at night—the ultimate stud in later years.
When you’re in the throes of passion, you never think of the end of the journey. Here, you should. And kindness, as always, should inform your decisions. If heartbreak occurs, then you need to be the grown up. (You have more life experience.) Words will fail no matter what, but accept that the journey has ended and cherish the memories.
When I look back at my experiences with a younger man they were lovely and heartbreaking. And indelible. You become part of a person’s life story. And they, yours. It may be just a chapter but it still matters. At the very least, you’ll be a little deeper for it.