Getting over a breakup is a lot like getting over a cold. It feels absolutely miserable in the moment and you wonder if you’ll ever feel like yourself again. But, much like when you’re sick, there are things you can do to heal a broken heart that will make you a happier, healthier person.
Here are five ways to get over a breakup and come out stronger on the other side:
1. Allow yourself to wallow.
The first step to getting over a breakup is taking time to mourn it. Heartbreak is devastating, and nobody expects you to be completely fine right away. One of best things you can do to get over a breakup is embrace your emotions. Let yourself feel every feeling. If you move on too quickly, you risk bringing hurt, anger, resentment, and unresolved feelings into your next romance.
2. Make a clean break.
When couples break up, someone inevitably asks: Can we stay friends? The other partner might say, Yes, of course, to be polite. But now is not the time to be polite; it’s the time to protect your heart. If you break up with someone, the best thing you can do for your heart is to avoid contacting them, especially at first. Being friends with someone you once had a serious romantic relationship with won’t work out exactly how you picture it. Simply put, it’s best for both parties to make a clean break.
3. Lean on your friends and family.
When you go through a breakup, your friends and family members will say things like, Let me know if you need anything and I’m here to talk if you want. And you should take them up on their offers! They’re not just saying it to be nice; it’s because they genuinely care about you and want to help you through a tough time. When you’re ready, reach out and confide in a trusted family member or get lunch with a caring friend. You’ll be surprised by how cathartic it is.
4. When you’re ready, reflect on the relationship.
Despite the pain, breakups are a great time for reflection and personal growth. To progress from the healing phase into the moving on process, be honest with yourself about your role in the relationship. Take stock of what kind of partner you were, what you valued in your partner, and what you feel that your relationship lacked. This way, when you’re ready to start dating again, you’ll have a clearer idea of what you’re looking for in a match.
5. Remember that it’s not always going to hurt this much.
It can be hard to see it in the moment, but you WILL eventually move on from a breakup. The heartbreak will hurt less and less until one day, you’ll realize that you’re doing great without your ex. It might not happen right away, but it will get easier and you will be ready to find love again one day.
There’s no one correct way to get over a breakup. Every relationship — and end of a relationship — is different. But if you’re honest, gentle, and patient with yourself, your heart will be on the mend in no time.