What Does a Committed Relationship Look Like?

A happy couple in a committed relationship flirting as the woman puts ice cream on her boyfriend's nose.

Are you in a happy relationship, but you’re unsure if your partner is fully committed? Or are you the one who’s being questioned by your partner over your commitment to the relationship?

When two people are in a committed relationship, they feel safe and secure. In the early stages of a new relationship, things can feel really rocky. Neither of you know where you stand. You like the person, but you don’t know if they like you as much. This can lead to insecurity, jealousy, and trust issues. Even if they tell you they’re committed, how do you know they’re not just saying it?

This is where keeping your eyes peeled for signs of commitment can really help put your mind at ease.

Here are the signs of a committed relationship—if these ring any bells, you can rest assured your partner isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

You spend a lot of time together.
Most people have to go to work each day, which doesn’t leave us with a lot of spare time. So, if that spare time is being spent together often, it’s a great sign that you value each other because you’re choosing to spend that precious time together.

If one of you consistently chooses to spend their free time seeing other people or doing other things, then it’s a sign that there’s a lack of interest there.

The little things are noticed and appreciated.
The little things are the big things in a relationship, and this becomes more apparent the longer you’re with someone. This might be cooking someone a meal, picking them up their favorite candy bar and surprising them with it, or even giving them a little foot massage after a long day.

If you’re doing these little things for someone, and they acknowledge and appreciate them, it’s a sign they’re committed to you. And if these little gestures are being reciprocated for you, that’s a great sign too.

You go out of your way for one another.
A relationship is all about what you can give to the other person, not what you can get from them. This means you both go out of your way to look after and care for each other. It also means compromising and making sacrifices to meet each other’s needs.

Anything less than this, and you’re not in a fully committed relationship.

You plan for the future together.
Single people make plans and decisions that revolve around them. But when you’re in a relationship, there’s two people to think of. Both of you matter, and what the other person wants to do in the future is just as important as what you want to do. So, if you’re making plans together, that are months ahead, or you’re talking about marriage or kids, that’s a strong sign you’re committed for the long haul.

Planning vacations together is also a great sign of commitment, because this involves spending at least a week constantly with someone, and usually gets planned months in advance. There’s also the fact that you make memories on vacation that last forever—and you wouldn’t want to be doing that with just anybody, would you?

You’re both all in.
When you’re in a committed relationship, both of you are all in. You work as a team, and you’re both expressing your love for each other every time you’re together. That might mean verbally or physically, or through small little gestures like we discussed.

It means thinking about how you can make this person happy, and what you can do to grow as a couple and consistently improve your relationship.

You’re willing to try to understand each other, even when you don’t.
You won’t always agree on things, and that’s to be expected. What’s important is that you’re both willing to understand where your partner is coming from, and their needs and point of view. To do this, you have to silence your ego, and come from a place of pure love.

Even just being there and listening when you don’t understand, is better than shutting them down or trying to get them to change how they feel.

You’ve met their family.
If you’re both committed to each other, you’ll have wanted to meet each other’s family, because usually family is a big part of any person’s life. It’s often awkward to meet our partner’s parents; but we do it out of love and respect for our partner, because we know how much it means to themThat’s commitment.

They can talk to you easily.
If you can talk to each other openly and honestly about everything under the sun, as well as sit comfortably in silence, that’s a great sign that you truly enjoy each other’s company; and you feel close enough to share whatever’s on your mind at any moment.

Maybe you find hours pass by when you’re chatting about random nothingness, because you get lost in the moment with each other. That’s a great sign.

You ask each other for advice.
The more you find your partner asking you for advice, the more they value your opinion and feel comfortable with you. This is a sign you’re being included when they make life choices, which is a big deal, and shows they’re committed to you and the relationship.

If these signs are showing up in your relationship, then your partner is highly likely committed to you, and sees you in their future.

Shani Jay

Bestselling Author and Empowerment Coach

Shani is a bestselling author, empowerment coach for women, and self-love advocate. She is the author of Bloom, The Babe Bible, Glow Getter, and Light Up Your Life; and her writing has been featured on many internationally recognized platforms including The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, and Teen Vogue.

​In 2016 Shani founded The Glow Getter Tribe – a self-love & kindness movement which helps young girls & women worldwide feel happy, confident and beautiful starting from the inside, out.

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