You must remember this; a kiss is not just a kiss. Especially when studies have proven that men and women will end a romance if the other person is a bad kisser. Ouch.
“What makes kissing great and very, very HOT is when it’s combined with experimentation, eagerness, and creative play,” said licensed marriage therapist, Dr. Sheri Meyers. “It’s not just the kiss, but how you express yourself sexually through the kiss.”
With that in mind, here are the top 10 tips that’ll help you turn your kisses from simply good to amazing.
You know how excited you get the moment before you kiss? That feeling shows that kissing is more than just an act. “Take time to stop, look your partner in the eyes and make a real connection,” explained psychologist and radio host, Dr. Cooper Lawrence. “Each moment that you can increase anticipation, you are making that next kiss more special.” So touch their face, their hair, and even tease them a little with a small peck before going all in. Every little thing adds to the overall experience and can make the different between lukewarm and steamy.
Follow the leader:
Pay attention to how your partner is responding to your kiss. Are they moving at the same pace as you? Do they seem nervous or aggressive? “Being aware of how your kisses are being received can guide you as to where to go next,” said Lawrence. Great kissers know to be sensitive to the reactions they’re getting, and adjust the kiss based on the feedback they receive.
Leave your comfort zone:
If you want to kick your lip-lock up a notch, opt to mix it up a little. Find new places to lick, nibble, or stroke. “Do something or share something you’ve never done or said before; perhaps a fantasy that thrills you or ask him to share his as you lick his neck,” suggested Meyers.
We often think that kissing and foreplay is a means to another end (SEX). Instead of thinking about what might happen next, focus on the kiss itself. Pay attention to how you’re feeling, the sensation of their lips on yours and let yourself feel every little touch. You may find that the kiss is deeper and more sensual when you stay in the present moment instead of always thinking about the next move.
Slow it down:
If the kissing is rushed, often the sex will be too. “When it feels like you have all the time in the world to enjoy exactly what you’re doing, that’s when kissing becomes creative, explorative, passionate, and fun,” said Meyers.
Keep your eyes open:
Eye contact can up the level of intimacy and closeness you feel to someone while kissing. Before going in for the kiss, take a few seconds to gaze into each other’s eyes. After the kiss, pull back and really look at each other. Then kiss again. “You’ll find that the kiss is much more of a personal experience when you gently gaze into each other’s eyes,” said Meyers.
Expand your kissing menu:
Don’t just kiss your lover’s lips. Go for the neck, the ear, the cheek, and even the eyelids. “Good kissers know that kissing is more than just one taste, it’s a whole smorgasbord. Limiting a kiss to just the lips can get boring,” said Lawrence.
Utilize the hands:
Touching and stroking while kissing makes your passion grow. “Touch, more than any other sense—be it through kissing, hugging, stroking, cuddling, making love—not only gives us comfort and pleasure but also makes us feel the most loved, desired, cherished, and adored,” said Meyers. While you’re in a good lip-lock, run your fingers gently up and down someone’s back, down their arms, around their ears, and anywhere else you can get your hands.
Surround yourself with intimacy:
Make the good, hot make out sesh a sensation for the whole body. During a good smooch, your brain is shooting a host of feel good chemicals everywhere, making everything more enjoyable. “Your body is feeling real pleasure, so if your surroundings can reflect that level of pleasure it can enhance the moment,” said Lawrence. Kissing will be enhanced if you’re somewhere really comfortable or perhaps with your favorite music playing.
Give and receive:
What makes a kiss memorable is pleasing your partner and pleasing yourself. Often, one partner may feel that they have to do all the work. Let your lover take over and lead the kiss, too. That ‘surrender’ or ‘domination’ (however you feel it) helps you to build trust. “The happier and more satisfied you are, the better your partner feels about themselves and the more he/she wants to please you,” said Meyers.