There comes a point in every relationship where you need to make the decision whether to stay or go. You’ve been cruising along for a while and now you’re wondering if your relationship is making process or if it’s stuck in its tracks. Here are 8 tell-tale signs you’re in a good relationship that can help you determine whether you should run for the hills or stay and see where this thing can go.
1. You have a gut feeling
Don’t dismiss that subtle feeling in your stomach, that’s your subconscious is talking to you. Often we try to trick ourselves into thinking something different from what our gut is telling us. Mediate, do yoga, or just close your eyes in a quiet room and tap into your intuition. Are you having to convince yourself that the person you’re dating is just perfect? Or do you have a sense of calmness about your love interest? Simply paying attention to the cues inside your body could be all that you need to know if you’re in a good relationship.
2. You make future plans
Are you already making plans together for a month, two months, even six months down the road? That could be a big sign that your lover sees you and only you in their future. Planning in advance demonstrates commitment to the relationship and more than that, it allows both partners to feel more secure knowing that their guy or girl doesn’t have plans to pick up and leave anytime soon.
3. You have your own relationship lingo
All of a sudden one day your lover says, “See you later, Honey” when walking out the door. After you’re done raising an eyebrow at how awkward it sounds the first time, you smile. That’s because lovey-dovey language is a sign of intimacy.
Studies have shown that relationship insider-speak strengthens a couple’s bond. It puts exclusivity on the relationship. If others overhear your pet names to one another, they will immediately tag you two as a couple. Assigning a pet name to your significant other is like marking your territory, but it’s also so much more. Code words and pet names can be important reminders of shared experiences. For example, you went to the amusement park together and your special someone got the biggest high from riding every high speed thriller in the park, you might start calling him, “Thriller.” This marks a specific time in your relationship and helps you remember the memories that you’ve shared together.
4. You trust each other
This five-letter word has great implications for any relationship. Once trust is broken, it’s hard to rebuild, especially if it’s a betrayal. According to Psychology Today, “A betrayal is a broken agreement, implicit or explicit, that is considered vital to the integrity of a relationship.”
Trust is built through a series of actions that show another person one can be trusted. For example, you call when you say you’re going to, you listen and empathize with your partner, you support and encourage your partner through a difficult time. Through this mutual trust in one another, you feel safe in the relationship physically and emotionally. You can be vulnerable without fear of any negative consequences. Ultimately, a solid foundation of trust leads to greater intimacy in your relationship.
5. You express your individuality
While you may need to make compromises in a relationship, you should never have to sacrifice who you are and what makes you tick. In fact, your ability to maintain your individuality is necessary for the strength of your relationship. Your partner should encourage you to become more of the person you are meant to be, not detract from that. After all, it was your individuality that made you attracted to each other in the first place!
Have you maintained your personal interests and kept up your friendships? Do you allow your partner to do the same? If you can answer yes to these questions, one of the positive signs you’re in a good relationship.
6. You have similar life goals and values
It would be hard to take the next step in a relationship if both partners didn’t have similar visions of what their futures look like and the commitment to achieving those goals together. Are you in basic agreement about the desire to get married and have kids for example? Have you discussed what you want out of your respective careers and of your personal and family life?
7. You’re having fun
Sure, you’re bound to encounter some rocky times, but overall you feel positive about your relationship. You’re excited to date your partner. You look forward to the next opportunity to learn more about your special someone. You have fun with your lover in any situation whether it’s just the two of you or you’re with a group of friends, colleagues, or family. Overall, things couldn’t be going any better and you look forward to what the future holds.
8. You act like true teammates
A sports team can’t make it to the final game unless every player on the team gives 100% of their skills to each and every game. In the same way, a good relationship can’t survive unless both partners bring their best to the relationship. Here are some questions to see if you’re acting as teammates or as adversaries: When you’re down on your luck, is your partner there to make it easier to get to the other side? Do you contribute to helping solve challenges within your relationship or do you point your finger and blame your partner?
One indictor that you’ve reached teammate status is if you’ve ditched the scorecard. No one person wins or loses in a good relationship and it’s only to the detriment of the relationship if you are constantly keeping a scorecard about your partner’s ability to satisfy all your needs. Both teammates ride the highs and navigate the lows together. They know that when the relationship is strong, they are also stronger individually. And they are committed to doing what it takes together to get there.
Now that you know 8 tell-tale signs of a good relationship, how are you feeling about your relationship?