Ariana Grande makes it seem like it’s easy to say, “Thank U, Next” to her ex-boyfriends, but in reality, the process is a lot harder—especially if it’s someone you really thought you had a future with. Love, and even lust, are difficult emotions to handle even when things are going great. To face a breakup or rejection after building someone up to be your partner makes it all even more difficult.
Luckily, there are healthy ways to stop thinking about someone and move forward in your life. Much like Grande, it’s good to appreciate the person for the impact they once had. In doing so, you’re giving yourself closure. But after that, you need to forget about them.
Here are a few ways to move forward and stop thinking about someone after a crush or relationship doesn’t work out.
Block them on social media.
Out of sight, it out of mine. Unless they really broke your heart, you might regret unfriending them altogether. But by blocking or muting someone, you don’t have to see them on your feed. If you’re really looking to stop thinking about someone, you need to put in the effort to avoid them at all costs—at least, until your heart heals.
Hang out with your friends.
Make a point to hang out with friends who always cheer you up and always have a lot going out. Getting out of the house and being present are wonderful ways to distract yourself with something positive. Even if it’s just grabbing a coffee or getting lunch together during a work break, focusing on other people—and what’s going on with them in their life—makes it easier to forget about yourself and your situation.
Say yes to all social events.
It’s really easy to pass up opportunities to get out there when you’re not feeling 100%, but the best way to stop yourself from thinking about someone is to keep your mind and body busy. Unless it’s something you really don’t want to go to, you should say yes to everything you’re invited to. It’s great to be around other people and enjoy new things.
Get a change of scenery.
You don’t have to go on a huge vacation—just a day or weekend trip out of town will do. This will let you go somewhere you don’t have history with the person you’re trying not to think of, and generally just clear your head. It’s also proof that you can go out, do something, and make your own memories without that other person around. It’s amazing how effective a change of scenery can be.
Start a creative project.
Sometimes, it helps to channel your feelings into a project in order to get them out of your system. (Taylor Swift does it all the time.) But if you’re not a songwriter, you can try something else. Maybe a painting or taking up guitar, or perhaps starting a journal will help you move on.
At some point, everyone—yes, everyone—faces rejection or heartache. The best way to get over it is to give yourself time and remember that this is all just part of your adventure towards finding your ideal match. If you work hard to move forward, pretty soon this guy or girl will be nothing but a distant memory.