Getting divorced isn’t easy. Saying goodbye to a marriage is extremely painful; it’s a major life change that most people don’t arrive at casually. Once your divorce is final, you might feel lonely, stuck, or worried that you’ll be lost without your partner. But even though it won’t be easy at first, there are plenty of good things about life after divorce.
If you’re scared of living the single life again, allow us to share some reasons why life after divorce is actually really great.
1. Getting divorced may give you a new outlook on life.
No matter how civil and mutual your divorce was, it’s still not an easy or fun thing to go through. But you did it. After your divorce, you may realize that you’re a lot stronger and more resilient than you previously thought. You may also realize that you don’t have room for negative emotions like anger and resentment in your new life. Many people learn to let things go more easily after they get divorced, instead choosing to fill their lives with positivity and good people.
2. You have free time again.
Chances are, you’ve spent the last few months—or years—focusing on getting back to the perfect relationship. Striving for perfection is not only disappointing, but also time consuming. Well, congratulations: You have the schedule of a single person again. And you can do whatever you want with it. You’ll quickly realize that it’s the little freedoms that make all the difference.
3. And your free time will actually be yours.
Not your ex’s. Not your divorce lawyer’s. Yours. If you want to start meditating every morning, you can. If you want to watch romantic comedies all evening, you can. If you want to make lasagna for dinner instead of roasted chicken, you can. When you’re married, nearly every decision you make affects your partner, from what you buy at the grocery store to whether you work out in the morning or after work. But when you’re divorced, you no longer have to worry about how small everyday decisions might affect someone else. It’s a huge sigh of relief.
4. You’re under less pressure.
When separation and divorce are looming, you’re under constant pressure to “make it work” and try to save your marriage; the fear that divorce somehow equals failure looms large. But once your divorce is final, that pressure is gone. Though it’s not easy, there is some relief in being able to say, It’s all over. Now, instead of obsessing over having the perfect relationship with someone else, you can focus having a great one with yourself. Trust us: The latter is much easier.
5. If you have kids, you can focus on being a great parent.
Divorce is especially difficult when you have kids. But when you don’t have to get along with your partner every hour of every single day, the time you’ll spend with your kids will be much happier.
6. Your sleep routine gets a LOT better.
Something that many new divorcées worry about is sleeping alone. Once you’ve grown used to sleeping next to the same person for years, it’s only natural to feel lonely falling asleep by yourself, without them there. But think of it this way: You can set your own sleep routine now. You can go to sleep early or watch TV before bed or let your dog sleep up next to you. And best of all, nobody will steal your side of the bed, your pillows, of your covers. We’re getting sleepy just thinking about it.
7. Three words: No. More. In-laws.
Didn’t get along with your ex’s parents or family? Not your problem anymore.
8. You’ll realize that the worst is behind you.
Think of it this way: You’ve already done the hard part. You fought, disagreed, and made a difficult decision to continue through life on your own. Now that the papers are signed, what comes next is nothing compared to what you’ve already been through. You got this.
9. Best of all, you get to focus on yourself again.
Now, life is all about you. Take this time to trust your gut, listen to your heart, and do what pleases you. If you want to start dating again in the future, it’s vital that you start by dating yourself first.
We hope you see the silver linings in life after divorce. Every day may not be easy and your new single life will take some getting used to, but take comfort in knowing that it’s all going to be okay. There are more things to look forward to than you might think.