When you want to get a guy’s attention, you bring your flirting A-game. But it’s frustrating when your cute outfits, witty wisecracks, and subtle hints go seemingly unnoticed. What gives? If a guy isn’t picking up on your flirting signs, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not interested. It could mean that he didn’t know you were flirting with him in the first place – there are surprising flirting signs guys miss all too easy. But don’t worry, we can fix that.
Simply put, men and women flirt and interpret flirting differently. To you, it seems obvious that your flirting tactics are meant to get his attention. But he might not see what you’re trying to do—or even read your behavior as flirtatious at all. Here are some basic flirting signs guys miss all the time.
The Obvious Flirting Signs Guys Miss
- Dressing to impress
It’s not that guys don’t notice when you look nice; they definitely take note. It’s that many of them don’t understand that you made an effort because of them. If you’re feeling frustrated that a guy isn’t responding to the work you put into your outfit or appearance to impress him, it’s because he hasn’t connected the dots to understand that you look nice for his benefit.
Rather than trying to look picture-perfect, focus on making a personal connection instead. That’s more memorable than what shoes you wore or what color lipstick you picked.
- Giving compliments
Paying a guy a compliment is a classic flirting tactic. You might tell him his hair looks great, his shirt is stylish, or that he smells nice—and think he understands that you have a crush on him. But guys don’t automatically equate compliments with flirting.
Instead of showering him with superficial compliments, share one big one that’s more personal and meaningful. Choose something that demonstrates you have paid attention to what’s important to him and what he’s proud of, that you have noticed the details about him.
- Laughing a lot
Laughter is a great way to show someone you’re listening to what they’re saying and that you enjoy their company. But guys don’t think it means they’re interested. In fact, laughing at everything they say could have the opposite effect: It could make you seem sort of ditzy or like you’re trying too hard.
Instead of laughing at everything he says, just smile and laugh when something is genuinely funny. Then, he’ll know he earned it.
- Asking for help
Whether you simply ask him to grab something out of your reach or you ask him to come over and help you take out your A/C window unit, asking for help is a great flirting tactic for a number of reasons. It gives you an excuse to have his sole attention, it makes him feel good for being needed, and it’s an opportunity for a little shameless ego-stroking.
But again, guys don’t necessarily see the “damsel in distress” act as flirting. If you want to flirt by asking for his help with something, you’ll need to be a bit more deliberate about why you want his attention. Which leads us to…
- Dropping hints.
Subtlety doesn’t work with guys, plain and simple. If you ask him what he’s doing this weekend thinking he’ll take the hint and ask you to hang out, he probably won’t; you have to ask if he wants to meet up. If you ask him to recommend a bar in the area thinking he’ll pick up on your signal and ask you out for a drink, he probably won’t; you have to ask him if he wants to get drinks. Most guys don’t pick up on subtleties, so be as direct as possible about how you like his company and want more of it.
All of these flirting signs guys miss have something thing in common: most guys don’t automatically see them as flirting. That doesn’t mean you should abandon these tactics, though. For the best results, keep it up and be more deliberate. You might feel like you’re being a little over-the-top, but if you want to get a guy’s attention, it’s best to be direct.