A happy single woman

How do you navigate the dating world when you’re single and really want to meet someone? It’s not always easy. In fact, it’s almost always hard. But while making my way through the single life, I’ve learned a few things about how to, not just survive the dating world, but master it. In my new book Single and Not Settling! A Journey of Surviving the Dating World coming out in April, I give tips on how to make sense of the craziness of dating, and give suggestions on how to find the one for you.

But before you dive into the deep end, it’s important to make sure you’re ready. To help you get in the right dating mindset, follow what I call the Three Positive Ts of Dating:

1. Talk positive about your single status.
Speaking positively about being single may help create a positive outcome.  Being single isn’t something to be ashamed of, and yet most people feel  like if you talk about it, you’re being negative and dwelling on it too much. If you tell people you’re single and embrace the fact that you are searching for the right one and know that they’re out there for you, other people will be more apt to see you in good light. They may even know someone they’d like you to meet and will want to introduce you to them if they feel like you have a happy and upbeat personality. But if you’re sad and depressed about being alone nobody will want to set you up with their friends. It’s said that over 50% of couples meet through an introduction. So, don’t forget. Attitude is everything!

2. Travel out of your immediate area to meet new people.
Many of us become complacent and comfortable living our lives in our own backyard. However, there are tons of trips out there for singles who want to meet each other—whether it’s day trips, weekend trips, or extended vacations. Find a destination you’ve always wanted to travel to, save up the money, and book the trip. It’s completely normal to travel alone when you’re single, so don’t feel you are the only one. If you can’t afford a trip, go ahead and travel outside of your neighborhood or go to the next zip code. Accept invitations to events that require a drive and see some new faces. You never know who will be there!

3. Try new things outside of your comfort zone.
Everyone’s daily routine is pretty much the same—wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, shower, and then watch TV before bed. No matter what the season, we tend to get used to and go through the paces of that familiar structure. As much as we say we want to meet someone, many times we don’t take the necessary steps to make it happen. Try something new! Get up a little earlier and head to the gym. Talk to the person next to you on the treadmill. Take an adult-education class. Instead of sitting at your desk on your lunch break at work, go out for lunch at least once or twice a week. It’s ok to sit alone and have a slice of pizza. You never know who might come over and ask for the hot pepper flakes. Instead of rushing home after work, why not take a Martial Arts class like kick-boxing or karate?

Bottom line is you need to think outside the box and get out of that comfort zone. Sometimes you have to make a slight change in order to see big results.

To read more of Tonia’s work and learn about her new book Single and Not Settling! A Journey of Surviving the Dating World, visit toniadecosimo.com or follow her on Twitter at @ToniaDeCosimo.

Tonia DeCosimo

Author on Dating and Relationships

Tonia, a successful entrepreneur, received her B.S. degree in Elementary Education and English from Manhattan College. Her career path, however, took her into the fields of marketing, publishing, and sales consulting in which she has worked successfully for the past 25 years. During that time, she has built and managed several companies including her own.

When she’s not busy building her career or dishing out dating advice, Tonia is the proud step-mom of two teenagers, resides on Long Island with her husband.

To read more of Tonia’s work and learn about her book Single and Not Settling, visit toniadecosimo.com or follower her on Twitter at @ToniaDeCosimo.