The thought of dating a woman 5, 10, or even 15 years younger than you can seem appealing because they’re typically more playful and optimistic, can come with less relationship baggage, and (let’s be honest) their bodies haven’t been through the test of time yet. It’s no surprise that dating younger women can seem like a real plus for an older man, but what should you be aware of before starting a relationship with someone who’s younger? We talked to experts to find out what it’s like dating younger women compared to someone your own age.
“A lot of men like the feeling of being around younger women because they feel more valued and interesting,” says relationship expert and author of That’s Not How Men Work, Marni Kinrys.
A younger female partner can also be someone men can spend more time with, says leading Tantra, sex, and relationship expert, Psalm Isadora. “[Younger women] have less time commitments in their own schedule, so they have more time to be a companion. They’re also more spontaneous and likely to appreciate travel and new things and seek an older man’s life advice,” she says.
For that reason, younger women like dating older men because they’ve reached the age where men typically place a high value on love, family, and things that truly matter in the world.
And when it comes to relationships, if the love is there, who cares what the age difference is right? Well, yes and no. If the couple is a match in terms of compatibility, lifestyle, goals and interests, it can be a very healthy relationship. But they don’t always last. An Emory University study found that the larger the age-gap is in a marriage, the more likely it is that it will end in divorce.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go after what you want. If you’re an older man interested in dating younger women, go for it, just remember that in addition to the pros of dating a female who is a generation or two behind you, and there are things to keep in mind too.
“Younger women, depending on how young they are, may not know who they are yet. There is more confusion, less maturity, and they haven’t had the same life experiences as the older man,” says Kinrys. In other words, they’re still figuring out how to navigate their own life, in addition to figuring out how to navigate a life with someone else.
Because of this, she may need more of your support, both emotionally and financially, as well as her space every now and then. When it comes to sex, she could be a complete fiery vixen in the sack… or the complete opposite.
“Some younger women have not yet discovered their own pleasure triggers or learned what pleases them to have an orgasm. She may still be self-conscious and need the man’s patience to let her explore her own body,” says Isadora.
Even if you’re the perfect match, there’s also the chance that both your family and friends may not be as thrilled about the coupling as the two of you are. Your relationship may be looked at as a passing folly or even worse, be mistaken for a father and daughter relationship by onlookers.
It goes without saying that all relationships face challenges and while the Emory study shows that people are better off dating within their age-group, it’s more important to be with someone you mesh well with.
“The biggest advice I have for men who want to date younger is don’t TRY to be younger yourself to match up with the women you are attracted to,” says Kinrys. “Be your age. Own it. Women will like you BECAUSE you are older not because you act their age.”