How To Ask A Girl On A Date The Right Way

Wondering how to ask a girl on a date? Throughout the stages of dating, little compares to the nervousness that can come with asking a girl out on a date. You’re not alone when it comes to having the fear of her saying no, or wondering if the timing is good to see if she’s even interested. 

You got her number, and now you want to steer it in the direction of hanging out with her. What is the best way to do it? There are many ways of going about this, here are some great tips to keep in mind so calm your nerves and get the answer you’re hoping for. 

How to Ask a Girl on a Date: 5 Steps to Getting a Yes 

Start with what you know

If you know a few things about her, what she likes to do or places she could potentially be interested in, start from there. It’s easier to ask out a girl you know rather than someone you don’t know, so try to build from the stance of getting to know her even more.

If you’ve never had a conversation with her before, you can start with small, but meaningful talk such as a compliment, talking about the day, ask about her hobbies, and then after you see how engaged she is in the conversation, go for the ask!

The conversation leading up to you asking her out on a date has to show that you’re meeting her where she’s at and that you’re interested in hanging out. 

Don’t leave all the specifics up to her

When you suggest that you could hang out, lightly pre-plan it, and give her the chance to come up with another option. She will admire that you’re thoughtful and that you took the initiative. 

Most likely, she won’t have a date, day or time in mind when you’re approaching her. Depending on the flow of the conversation and listening to common interests, you could give two date suggestions and then mention a day you think she’ll be free. 

For example, “I know you said you’re into live entertainment. How about we go to see a comedy show this Friday at 8?” Using the three Ws (what, when, where) will help move things along faster, make it less awkward, and will let you know if she’s interested in hanging with you. 

Think about a memory of your last great date

This exercise isn’t to call up your ex! It’s more so to think of what went well about the date and how did you contribute to the experience. If you were the one who asked the girl out on the last great date, how did you do it? Was it in-person or over the phone? What type of things did you two talk about before you asked her out? What do you want to do differently this time around?

Now, obviously, there’s no ‘one size fits all’ language to use for every person you meet, but it’s helpful to take an objective look at your dating life and trace back the things that have and haven’t worked for you. It’ll get easier and you’ll feel less anxious about the whole process. 

Put yourself out there

As easy as it can be to ask your best wingman to do the work for you, a woman will appreciate a guy who comes up to her. Doing this will show your confidence and, if we’re being honest, you’re the person who she would go on a date with, so why send someone else to ask in your place? 

You’ll know it’s the right time to start a conversation with her when she’s not engaging in another one, making some sort of gesture to you (eye contact, a smile, or a wave), and when you two are in an area where you can hear each other speaking. Whether she’s interested in going out or not, it’s better to ask for yourself through a text or face-to-face than to hide behind a wingman or play games being vague.

Be mindful of how you present yourself

When you’re talking to her, make sure you’re keeping good eye contact, nice posture, avoid looking down at your phone the whole time, and that your tone is direct and inviting (aka be nice, but don’t beat around the bush). Also, it’s a good idea to pace yourself during the conversation and look for gaps in between to ask her out. 

If she’s interested in you, her body language will probably tell you. Her gestures and tone of voice will be mirroring yours, so keep that in mind when approaching her. 

The important thing to remember when asking a girl out on a date is that you want it to be done the right way. Once you get the words out, listen to what she says, and practice having no attachment to the outcome. 

In other words, if she’s excited and says she’s looking forward to it, then great! If she’s not, that’s also great, you won’t be stuck wondering if she was ‘the one’ after all. When trying to figure out how to ask a girl on a date, be you, be real and you see every opportunity as a learning experience. 

Tori Glaude

Tori is a D.C. life coach on a mission to empower women to achieve their goals. Her debut book is entitled “Sour Grapes into Wine: How to Leave a Toxic Relationship to Create a Productive Lifestyle.”

When she’s not writing or working in television production, Tori enjoys kickboxing and trying out new restaurants.

You can reach out to Tori directly at her website here.

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