How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend: Tips on What to Say

A guy who learned how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend talking to his girlfriend at the beach.

This is something that causes quite a bit of anxiety for most men, no matter what age they are. I feel for you guys, because you’re the ones usually left with the responsibility of asking the question, “Will you be my girlfriend?”

But don’t worry—take a deep breath, and read these tips on exactly what you need to say to make sure all the odds are in your favor.

Be clear.
Put yourself in her shoes for a moment, and consider what she might be feeling, then plan what you want to say.

If you’re nervous, you might end up fumbling your words, or avoiding actually asking her the question. But don’t be vague, because otherwise you might walk away from the conversation feeling more confused than before you started!

Be sure to pluck up the courage, and actually ask her the question. This way, there will be no confusion what you’re interested in and what she’s saying yes to. Keep in mind that you might end up catching her off guard, so don’t rush her for an answer.

Do it in the right place.
You both want to feel comfortable and at ease, so choose a location where you’ll be able to relax and focus on each other instead of worrying about what’s going on around you.

For example, a crowded bar or a party probably isn’t the best place. A park, or in your home (if she’s been there before) would be much better.

If you have a special spot that is significant for you as a couple, it might be nice to do it there, and add to the romance of this moment. Showing you put some time and thought into it is only going to get you extra brownie points.

And at the right time.
Before rushing to make things official, stop and take a look at where you currently are. Are you ready for this commitment? Do you like each other enough to not date anyone else for the foreseeable future? Do you think you’re on the same page as each other? Do you both want a relationship?

Timing is key, so don’t rush things. Take your time, and make sure this is the right decision for the both of you.

Show your sincerity.
Even if you’re terrible at this relationship stuff, all you need to do is be sincere and you’ll do fine. Keep it simple, be vulnerable, and just say exactly what you feel.

“I want to be your boyfriend,” is more than enough if you’re a man of few words.

Tell her your real feelings.
You could start the conversation off by talking about how well you get on, and how much you’re enjoying spending time with her. This is a happy and positive way to get things started.

If she agrees, that’s a cue that you can take the conversation further, and tell her you’d like to take things to the next level. Again, do it sincerely, and not in a pushy way.

Cook her a dinner with things that go together.
This one’s a light-hearted, funny approach, which can work well if she knows you to be that kind of man, and likes that about you.

Invite her to your place and cook her a dinner of foods that are pairs, like mac & cheese, spaghetti & meatballs, or and burgers and fries.

While you’re eating, say something about how some things just go really well together, and are better as a pair, then say, “Like you and me!” And then ask her the question.

Stay calm no matter what happens.
If she says yes, you might get overly excited, and if she says no, you might be distraught inside. But whatever happens, try and remain calm and cool about it.

If she says yes, smile and laugh with her, and tell her that you were feeling nervous about asking her. If she says no, accept her response graciously, remain polite and kind, and thank her for being honest with you.

These tips are just some of the great ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend. But when all is said and done, you know her pretty well at this point, so trust your instincts.

Shani Jay

Bestselling Author and Empowerment Coach

Shani is a bestselling author, empowerment coach for women, and self-love advocate. She is the author of Bloom, The Babe Bible, Glow Getter, and Light Up Your Life; and her writing has been featured on many internationally recognized platforms including The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, and Teen Vogue.

​In 2016 Shani founded The Glow Getter Tribe – a self-love & kindness movement which helps young girls & women worldwide feel happy, confident and beautiful starting from the inside, out.

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