man sitting at cafe with attractive woman showing how to get a girlfriend

You’ve been seeing a girl for a while. You care about her, you like being with her, and she genuinely makes you happy. Sounds like you’re ready for an exclusive relationship. It’s time to make the jump from wondering how to get a girlfriend to actually getting one! 

That being said, asking a girl out can be challenging. Reading the signs she also wants to be exclusive can feel stressful, and it might just be time for your relationship to take the next step. So if you’re wondering how to get a girlfriend, here are some practical steps on how to succeed. 

Real Advice on How to Get a Girlfriend

Step 1: Be honest about what you want

We’re all different. The idea of being a girlfriend might mean something different to you than to her. Ask yourself, what exactly do you want out of your relationship? What do you hope for? What are you prepared to change? 

Things change when you go from a casual relationship to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, and making that change takes good old fashioned commitment. What does commitment mean to you? It’s an important word that should mean the same to both of you. Consider these things first. Before considering how to get a girlfriend, understand what that really means to you. 

Step 2: Lay your cards on the table  

Now that you know where you stand, it’s time to get vulnerable. That word may sound scary, but one of the best ways to move your relationship forward is to let your partner know how you’re feeling. Honesty is always the best policy. 

It should be more than, ‘Hey, wanna be my girlfriend?’. Let her know what she means to you and be real, even if it means feeling exposed. Because that’s kind of the point. Your relationship has a higher chance of progress if you’re willing to put more on the line, mainly your heart. 

Step 3: Make it memorable and meaningful

You’re not proposing, sure, but it’s still a big question to ask. Show her that she’s important to you. Planning the question out helps. Asking her in a setting that’s memorable to your relationship is a nice way to celebrate how far you’ve come.  

Maybe you’re the happiest cooking in the kitchen. Plan an evening preparing a special meal that you both love and ask her while you’re in the midst of rustling up a storm. Or maybe you love hiking together. Why not hike to your favorite spot and ask her there. 

Think about what makes your relationship special. Popping the girlfriend question in a meaningful way demonstrates that you’ve put a lot of thought into your relationship. 

Step 4: How to get a girlfriend? Act like a boyfriend 

A piece of new relationship advice for you;  sometimes you’re going to have to do things you don’t really feel like. Fact. Part of being in a relationship is compromise. Maybe her friend’s wedding is coming up and she asked you to go. Or maybe you’re messy and it drives her a little nuts. 

Whatever it is, show her that you’re making an effort to do things that are important to her. Tell her that you’re happy to be her plus one at the wedding or maybe clean the kitchen next time you make a sandwich. Take what she’s asking to heart and show her that you’re ready to prioritize what’s important to her too. She’ll appreciate it. Trust us.

Step 5: Include her in different parts of your life

Introduce her to your friends and bring her to that bonfire they plan every year. Don’t just take her out to meet your folks, how about your aunt who means the world to you?

Asking her to be your girlfriend means you’re in it for the long haul. Start introducing her to the people and places that you’ve loved forever, and sharing the experiences that make you, you with her. By showing her the most intimate and important parts of your life, she’ll start to understand that you want her to be one of them. After all, sharing is caring. 

Asking someone to be your girlfriend means taking steps to change a relationship from casual to something more. If you’re willing to show her that you’re ready, you may discover that she is too. Be bold and put yourself out there, the risk is worth the reward!

Jacqueline Gualtieri

Freelance Writer

Jacqueline Gualtieri is a writer and blogger whose best friend once told her to quit her job and become a couples and sex therapist. Since she’d miss writing too much, she figured writing for The Date Mix would be the next best thing.