couple drinking coffee and laughing showing the signs she wants a serious relationship with you

Boy swipes right. Girl swipes right. Boy and girl start dating and wonder if and when it’ll go from casual to serious, but don’t want to say too much too early and jinx things. So they play it cool and pretend like everything is chill, all the time. Sound familiar?

Many modern daters are wary of showing all of their cards. They worry that wanting to get serious will make them look weak and less desirable, so they go with the flow and suppress their feelings, especially early on.

We’re big advocates of telling people how you feel with confidence. But even if the person you’re dating doesn’t come right out and say they want to get serious, you can still pick up on clues from their words and actions. Here are the surefire signs she wants a serious relationship with you.

How to Spot the Signs She Wants a Serious Relationship With You

  1. She likes having deep conversations

When you’re casually dating someone, getting to know them on a deep, personal level isn’t always a priority, and there’s nothing wrong with that! You stick to surface-level topics like work, news, and pop culture, have casual fun, and call it a day. But when you want to be exclusive, you’re interested in learning as much as you can about someone.

If she likes having deep conversations about important topics ranging from your family and your childhood to your thoughts and beliefs – and opens up about these topics herself, too – then it’s an easy to spot sign she wants a serious relationship.

  1. She’s responsive

When a girl wants to get serious, she doesn’t play games. She responds to texts in a reasonable amount of time, she doesn’t abide by the now ancient ‘three-day rule’ and she won’t ghost you or disappear for days on end. It’s her way of showing that she doesn’t want to waste your time or keep you guessing; she wants to spend it together because she’s serious about you.

  1. She talks about the future in big ways…

One of the clearest, most direct ways you know a girl is interested in getting serious is if she talks about the future, and specifically, asks about your future. She’s gauging what you see in your future, if it aligns with her vision for her own future, and if you have room for her in it. 

If she asks about your career path, where you see yourself in five years, if you want to get married, or if you want to have kids, she’s definitely interested in settling down and getting serious with you. She wouldn’t bring up these topics if she wasn’t.

  1. …and small ways, too

Sometimes, girls talk about the future in more subtle ways, too. If she buys tickets to a concert that’s three months away with the intention that you’ll go together or invites you to a wedding that’s next season, know that she’s getting serious about you. And how you respond to these invitations, though seemingly small, will speak volumes to her about where you stand.

  1. She leaves things at your place

She didn’t leave that comfy pair of shorts in your drawer or that contact solution in your medicine cabinet on accident. She’s envisioning a world where she’ll be at your place often enough to use them. If you want to show her that you’re serious, too, buying her a toothbrush to keep at your place is the most romantic gesture you could possibly do and will win you serious relationship points.

  1. She’s introduced you to her friends

Girls don’t introduce their friends to just anybody. But when they get serious about a guy, they want their friends to meet him so they can get their honest opinions of him. If she suggests getting drinks with her gal pals, it’s a sign she’s ready to take things to the next level.

  1. She comes right out and tells you

Not every girl beats around the bush. Some come right out and say it. Like we said above, when girls get serious about guys, they stop playing games. If she’s really committed to settling down and being exclusive, she might just come right out and tell you. If she’s done any of the above things, be ready to have the “let’s not see other people” conversation. Or, if you’re so inclined, beat her to the punch and be the one to bring it up.

Look out for these signs she wants a serious relationship with you, but if you’re still not sure about where you stand, don’t be afraid to come right out and ask. If you want to get serious with her, it’s best to know how she feels about you now so you can either focus on building a future together or start to move on if she doesn’t share the same feelings as you.  

Elizabeth Entenman

Freelance Writer

Elizabeth is a freelance writer, editor, and advertising copywriter in Brooklyn. Right now, she’s probably somewhere Instagramming her dogs.