5 Must-Know Tips for Dating While Separated

A man dating while separated, smiling and laughing as he hugs his date.

As a newbie to the online dating scene, meeting strangers is like learning a whole new language. The rules have changed, the expectations are different and unfortunately, sometimes, so are the manners. It’s okay to be nervous, but honestly, don’t worry. By training yourself to grasp the basics, you can adjust to the guidelines. From learning to flirt through text or conversations to avoid, you’ll be prepared to date even if you’ve been bundled up in marriage for decades.

Here’s how to glide through dating while separated:

1. Be realistic.
Don’t fantasize about the ideal person before you meet them. Although finding a George Clooney or Victoria Secret-looking lady may be nice in our dreams, it’s unrealistic. Sorry. When you create these unrealistic expectations, you close yourself off to great dating experiences.

To avoid setting yourself up for disappointment, have practical hopes when dating while separated. I’m not saying your should abandon your basic requirements; obviously, you deserve someone who can offer care, trust, and love. Just don’t make your requirements unreasonable and ditch someone because they’re bald or don’t own an upscale loft.

Let go of your delusions about the perfect person and instead, focus on making room for someone wonderful who exists in real life.

2. Don’t misrepresent yourself.
Setting up your online dating profile can feel scary. You’re displaying yourself to  complete strangers, which to many, feels like joining a meat market. But don’t overthink it too much; accept that your profile pic is part of the process and be confident. Do not select a pic that doesn’t accurately represent your appearance.

Yes, we understand that it’s tempting to use the most flattering filtered photos, but it’s not the real you! You can’t use that hot beach pic from your workout glory days if that’s not how you currently look. It’s dishonest. People are there to see the real you, so give them a chance to like you for who you are. 

3. Text smart.
Online dating requires you to be a good texter. Let’s start with flirting; your texts should feel fun and playful. Make witty comments like, “Maybe you’ll find out on our date,” or, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” This type of sweet teasing is always great because it leaves the other person curious and eager to learn more about you.

Next, there’s the grammar issue. Just because your English teacher isn’t around to judge your writing skills, doesn’t mean other people won’t. Well-written sentences and good grammar is sexy, especially if you’re trying to attract high-quality dates. Small things like spelling out “you” instead of  using “u” shows you’re an intelligent, confident person. 

4. Don’t play games.
Long gone is the rule of  waiting three days to text. The idea that delaying contact creates mystery is totally outdated. Nowadays, this approach means you’ll be forgotten. The online dating scene is fast-paced and impatient, so if someone doesn’t hear from you soon, they’ll assume you don’t care.

Bottom line, if you want them, text them right away. You’re allowed to feel vulnerable when being proactive, but don’t play games. If the person is actually interested, they’ll be glad you reached out. Make it clear you had a great time and see if they’re open to meeting again.

If they don’t respond, it means they’re not interested. If so, just shrug it off. It’s not because you’re not a great catch; they just aren’t the right match for you.

It’s vital to have confidence when dating. You’ll save lots of time and energy by focusing on the people that matter, not the ones who don’t. So increase your chances of happiness by having tough skin and avoid games.

Even if you’re a newcomer to the dating world, the most important part is to have fun. So savor the freedom of meeting new people and don’t take the process too seriously.

Rachel Esco

Freelance Writer

Rachel is a lifestyle blogger, based in Toronto, who specializes in dating and relationships. Her articles have been featured in publications, including “Huffington Post”, “Life Hacker” and “Women’s Post”.

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