Matchmaking is a tried and true profession, where people actually go to school to become a professional matchmaker and get certified. But now that technology can help us do our own online matchmaking, singles have become more and more reluctant to pay for a service. Are professional matchmaking services still worth a try?
If you’ve thought about trying a matchmaker but brushed the idea away or shunned it all together, here are a few instances when it may make sense for you.
When you have no time.
Scott Valdez, founder and president of ViDA, an online matchmaking service, says, if you find yourself thinking, If only I had time to date, then a matchmaker may really help you out. “When you’re working long hours, it can be hard to squeeze a workout in and walk the dog, let alone hit the bars. A matchmaker solves that problem. You provide a list of criteria that you’re looking for in a partner, and they do the screening for you.”
When you aren’t having any success on your own.
Not having success doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not going on dates—it could be that you’re going on a lot of first dates but you’re not going on seconds, or that you just can’t get from short term to long term relationship. “A lot of times people date people who are their ‘type’ but so often that isn’t actually the person that compliments you and that you should be with,” says Laura Bilotta, a dating coach and professional matchmaker.
When you want access to a lot of eligible singles.
Most people don’t have friends or family members who know thousands of eligible singles right at their fingertips. “That’s the biggest advantage of going with a matchmaker versus going on yet another disastrous blind date with ‘this girl that my friend’s friend dated once,” explains Valdez. “You’ll be introduced to pre-screened, high-quality people you’d probably never meet otherwise—and you get to see details like a photo and a bio before spending time and money on a date.”
When you want someone to do the upfront work for you.
Looking for love takes time and energy… which a lot of us don’t have. “Matchmakers take on a lot of the legwork so that you can focus on improving yourself and enjoy the dating experience,” says Bilotta. “Dating is really time consuming, sorting through tons of online profiles or hanging around in bars and then trying to figure out what someone’s deal is before going out with them. All these things take up lots of time and aren’t practical for everyone.” Having a matchmaker can really streamlines the process.
When you want someone who’s mission is to give YOU what you want.
Asking a friend or family member to set you up could lead to them setting you up with someone they would like to see you with, but who may not be what you want. Rivera explains that since matchmakers have a lot more ready and willing singles in their database they’re more likely to find you someone that fits your personality, your behaviors, and what you’re looking for.
When you need an expert.
Matchmakers are experts in the language of attraction, and they spend a lot of time behind the scenes generating interest in you. “One of the biggest advantages to hiring a matchmaker is you’re only meeting women/men who are already interested in meeting you,” says Valdez. “That means you can go into each date with confidence.”
When you’re ready for less work.
If you’ve been putting yourself out there with little to no results, clearly you’re doing something wrong. “Matchmaking is a huge help when it comes to managing your time,”explains Bilotta. “You get to enjoy your dates without having to hunt for them yourself. In the end it’s an investment in your future and your happiness.”
When you’re ready to try something new.
At the end of the day, if what you’re doing isn’t working, then it’s time to mix things up and try something new. Whether you’re burnt out on dating apps, tired of bad setups, or looking for some good advice on how you can improve the way you date, turning to an expert could be the way to turn your dating life around.