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The Pros and Cons of Using a Professional Matchmaker

A professional matchmaker writing in her notebook while planning a date for someone.

We’ll be honest: Using a professional matchmaker is not for the faint of heart. It’s a costly, in-depth process that will force you to be brutally honest not only about what you’re looking for in a match, but also what you have to offer. To some daters, hiring a professional matchmaker seems like too intense a step that they’re not ready to take. But to others, putting their dating destiny in the hands of an expert is a welcome relief.

So, is using a professional matchmaker to meet someone right for you? Let’s walk through some of the pros and cons of what you can expect from the experience.


The matchmaker does all the work for you.
Does online dating ever feel like, well, work? All of that searching, messaging, and waiting can quickly become a huge time suck. Well, when you use a professional matchmaker, guess what? They do all of that work for you. And not only that, but they know what they’re doing. Once you’re set up in their system, all you need to do is show up on dates and be your charming self.

Your matches will be high-quality, well-vetted, and serious about dating.
One of the biggest pros about matchmakers is that they do not waste your time. Hiring a professional matchmaker is not your average swipe-and-cross-your-fingers move; it’s a service that you’re paying good money for, so it delivers as best it can. The vast majority of people who use professional matchmakers are serious about finding a long-term partner, if not “the one.” So when you do get a date, it’ll be a quality match with a lot to offer.

Success rates don’t lie.
Of course, not all professional matchmakers are created equal. But chances are, especially if you live in a big city, you’ll be able to find a professional matchmaker with a high success rate. If they don’t offer up their stats from the start, such as how many marriages they’ve facilitated or their satisfaction rate, it might be a sign that you need to keep looking.

You can take a break from online dating.
If you’re considering using a professional matchmaker, we’re willing to bet it’s because you’re stuck in an online dating rut. Even if your matchmaker doesn’t yield a perfect match right away, it’s still nice to log off the apps and know someone’s working on your behalf for the time being.


Professional matchmakers are brutally honest.
They know what their clients want and don’t want. If your interests are too vague, they’ll tell you. If you’re not selling your personality the right way, they’ll tell you. If the lighting in your picture sucks, yep, they’ll tell you. But hey, that is what you’re hiring them for. Their results don’t lie. Most people who use a professional matchmaker are in it for this exact reason: They want to know what they’re doing wrong, and want someone who can help. But if you can’t handle the brutal honesty, a professional matchmaker might not be for you.

Things are going to get really personal, really quickly.
When you work with a professional matchmaker, they ask all the same questions that an online dating profile does. And depending on how thorough they are, they might go even deeper. Be prepared to answer everything from Do you consider yourself religious? to Have you or would you ever freeze your eggs? It’s one thing when you’re typing answers into a form field online, but it’s certainly another — and can feel a bit jarring — when you’re revealing such personal information to a real person you barely know.

Using a professional matchmaker is expensive.
It all depends on the professional matchmaker you hire, but their services are going to cost you. Some daters spend thousands of dollars, if not tens of thousands of dollars (or even more), to hire a professional matchmaker. It all depends on how serious you are about trying it out. If you have the money to spend, it might be worth a shot to see what happens. If you’re not so liquid, it might be best to hold off. Especially because…

You might not get any matches right away — or at all.
Again, it all depends on the professional matchmaker you hire. But typically, using a professional matchmaker doesn’t automatically yield results. Matchmakers are very careful and thorough with how they match people. Which is a good thing! But unfortunately, it also means that you might have to wait a while—days, weeks, or even months.

Hiring a professional matchmaker isn’t for everyone. But if you’re looking for something serious, and you have the money and the patience, it may be for you.

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