6 Ways Our Friends Make Us Stronger, Better People

Two friends hanging out and smiling while sitting together outside.

You can’t choose your family, but you can pick your friends; which is what makes them so great, isn’t it? Our friends are always there for us in our times of need, picking us up when we’re down, celebrating our successes with us, and making this whole life thing a lot more fun.

They say that you’re the product of the five people you spend the most time with, so when you choose to spend time with inspiring and loving people, that only has a positive effect on you.

Here are some of the top ways in which our friends make us stronger, better people:

They remind us of our strengths.
All of us have our own unique super powers that we’re gifted with at birth. Some of us are eternal optimists, while others are able to make anyone laugh. Some of us are able to give great advice when a person is a little confused about what choice to make, while others can be counted on to always be there for you come rain or shine.

Sometimes, we lose sight of everything we’re great at, and become focused on everything we’re lacking. But our friends are always there to remind us of our strengths again.

They pick us up when we’re down.
Our friends are usually the ones who are there for us through all the ups and downs of life—painful breakups, bereavements, illnesses, and failures included.

And no matter how terrible our situation is, we can always count on them to be there for us in our time of need, and bring some much needed light into the darkness. After a drink and an intimate chat, you often feel like everything really will be okay, and that it’s not the end of the world.

They encourage us to see the bright side of everything.
We all have that cheery, glass half full friend who is able to find the silver lining in every situation—no matter how bad it is.

When we get dumped, they’ll remind us that someone better is waiting around the corner for us. When we don’t get our dream job, they’ll tell us everything happens for a reason. When we’re going through a difficult time at work, they’ll remind us that this is only making us stronger.

Our friends help us see the bright side of everything, and we’re much better off with wonderful people like this in our lives.

They call us out when we’re not being true to ourselves.
Great friends don’t always tell us what we want to hear, and that’s what makes them so special. People who don’t really care about you or your life will tell you whatever you want to hear, but that’s not in your best interest.

We need people around to call us out when we’re fucking up, not being true to ourselves, or falling short of the people we want to be. That’s exactly what our friends do. And we’re stronger, better people for it.

They’re always cheering us on.
It doesn’t matter if it’s something as little as running a 5k race to raise money for charity, or something as huge as starting a new business, writing a book, or climbing Everest. Our friends are always there cheering us on—if it’s important to us, then it’s important to them. And in turn, we’re there for them too.

We all need supportive and encouraging people around us, especially when we’re pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones and trying to do something we’ve never done before. With this kind of support, we’re able to do and achieve so much more than when we’re doing it completely solo.

They help us see the world through a different lens.
Our friends are most likely different people to us, in at least a few ways if not many. This means that they bring a different light to all situations, and help us look at things from a totally new perspective.

When all we can see are problems and reasons why something won’t work, they’ll be able to show us an opportunity. When we feel like we’ve failed at something, or our life feels totally off course, they’ll help us see that maybe this is exactly where we’re meant to be.

And this kind of perspective shift rubs off onto us too. Soon, you’ll be able to look at the challenging aspects of your life and see them in a whole new way.

This is the power of incredible friendships. They change us. They help us grow. And they make us stronger, better versions of ourselves.

Shani Jay

Bestselling Author and Empowerment Coach

Shani is a bestselling author, empowerment coach for women, and self-love advocate. She is the author of Bloom, The Babe Bible, Glow Getter, and Light Up Your Life; and her writing has been featured on many internationally recognized platforms including The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, and Teen Vogue.

​In 2016 Shani founded The Glow Getter Tribe – a self-love & kindness movement which helps young girls & women worldwide feel happy, confident and beautiful starting from the inside, out.

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