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How To Have Good Sex: Covering The Basics

Man and woman sitting on a bed in a bright room smiling at each other.

You’re not the first person to wonder exactly how to have good sex. While it might feel like sex’s become less of a priority throughout the new normal of post-pandemic society, it still shouldn’t be at the bottom of your list of things to do. 

Let’s face it, with all this at-home-time, shouldn’t we take this opportunity to re-connect with our partners and make our sex lives even better? It’s not as difficult or daunting as you might think. We’ve done the research and put together a few top tips. Read on to learn more…

How to Have Good Sex in Any Relationship

1. Get rid of shyness 

Many people feel anxious about talking to their doctor about sex, never mind their partner. But, the more comfortable you are engaging in conversations about sex and intimacy — including your desires, your wants, and your needs — the better sex you’ll have. When we open up to our partners and ourselves about the things we want to try, it helps us to be bold and daring. 

You don’t have to engage in BDSM to have good sex, you just need to be aware of your own body and what you want, then talk about it in a safe space with your partner.

2. Love your body

They say we must love ourselves before we can love someone else. This is a broad generalization, but when it comes to nurturing self-love and self-esteem, it’s pretty true. Being comfortable in our skin allows us to be more daring and playful when it comes to sex.

Having sex without the boundaries placed on us by our minds — and society — allows us to enjoy the moment instead of worrying about what someone will think.

3. Make it thrilling

When you’ve been with someone for a long time, it’s easy to get lazy in bed together. You have a routine, so you get stuck in it. However, if you don’t put energy into your relationship, you’ll have a difficult time getting anything out of it. 

Research shows, new, adventurous activities can stimulate the brain to produce dopamine, which plays into sexual desire. Doing something daring outside the bedroom with your partner can increase your dopamine levels and your sex drive.

4. Try high-quality sex toys

There are a ton of sex toys for sale online, but they’re likely knock-offs of the real thing. If you’re wondering how to have good sex, adding a high-quality sex toy to the bedroom can work wonders. Spending a little more is well worth it when it works, is made of body-safe material, and ramps up your pleasure for and your partner for years to come. 

5. Give sexting a shot

Sending your partner short, naughty text messages is ideal for giving them a little burst of excitement. But you don’t have to stop at one-liners. Try sending them longer dirty, sexy messages, even full-blown stories. This is a great way to keep them coming back for more. 

Painting a story for your partner isn’t difficult. Just tell them what you plan to do with them later, and draw it out for as long as you can. You can be as explicit or subtle as you like, depending on how you like to talk to one another. Let their mind fill in the blanks.

6. Find ethically sourced porn that you enjoy

Whether you watch it with your partner or on your own, finding ethically sourced porn can give you ideas on how to have a good sex life. There’re plenty of porn sites available specifically targeted to women to get you started. Yes, you’ll pay for it, but it’ll be well worth it in the long run. Include your partner in viewing, you can enjoy it together and possibly learn new things to try with one another! 

In the end, even if you don’t see anything you want to do together, the time you spend with each other watching something steamy can make a huge difference on its own.

Good Sex Is for You Too!

If you want to know how to have good sex, you need only look within. The things that turn you on, make you think of your partner, or just sound deliciously naughty are all part and parcel of a great relationship. Taking your thoughts and desires to the bedroom and opening up to your partner is a wonderful way to get the ball rolling towards the best sex of your life. 

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