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First Date Sex: Everything You Need To Know About The Age-Old Phenomenon

A couple's feet sticking out of the duvet while they're lying in bed after having first date sex

First date sex has long been a hot topic. It’s viewed differently around the world, as well as by different age groups, religions, subcultures – you name it. It makes sense then that society finds it hard to draw a line under sexual matters. But, for the sake of this article, we’ll take this viewpoint: If you want to have sex on the first date, do it, and don’t feel bad about it! Just make sure you do it the right way: safely, responsibly, and enjoyably!

Below, we’ve taken a look at a couple of commonly asked questions surrounding first date sex. We’ve also put together some of our top tips on how to do so in a sensible — but still enjoyable — way!

How Likely Is Sex on the First Date?

This one depends entirely on the two of you. Everybody is different. Some people have strong personal boundaries when it comes to sex, while others are more open to going wherever the night leads. Just because someone has had a promiscuous past, that doesn’t mean they’ll be looking for a hook-up on the first date.

The important thing is never to assume. If there’s a strong connection and both of you are comfortable, sex might happen after the first date – but the reality is that nobody should expect it.

Is It Wrong to Have Sex on the First Date?

If you meet somebody on a first date and find you share a strong connection, you may well feel excited by the idea of sleeping with them – particularly if that first date kiss gets you both in the mood. 

It’s common to feel a little conflicted, though. There’s personal safety to consider, plus the possible implications of sleeping with someone on the first date. Will it be a one-night stand that spirals into a just-sex relationship? Or will it lead to something more meaningful? As long as you’re both open about your intentions and you communicate clearly, everything should go smoothly.

So, is it bad to have sex on the first date? Not at all, if you do it safely, sensibly, and with a clear head.

Advice for First Date Sex: 6 Top Tips to Keep In Mind

When it comes to tips for sex on the first date, there are a few important points to keep in mind. Yes, first date sex can be great but it’s still important to make sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons with safe boundaries in place.

1. Avoid drinking too much beforehand

Getting over first date nerves isn’t always easy. If both parties are feeling pretty nervous, it can lead a first date to become pretty drink-heavy. However, if you or your date is too drunk, it’s best to avoid having sex. 

Waking up in the morning with hungover regrets or feelings that you did something you wouldn’t have done if you were sober, isn’t a positive feeling. And besides, if you like the person, having sex with them sober will be a far more intimate and special experience.

2. Consider the location

Will you go back to your place or theirs? Do you live alone? Do they? If you’re going to go back with somebody after a first date, make sure to tell your friends where you’re going. Everything will most likely be fine, of course, but it never hurts to be careful.

3. Set boundaries

Setting boundaries when dating will show others how you want, and expect, to be treated. When it comes to sex on the first date, it’s especially important to have these in mind.

Don’t be afraid to be vocal about what you like, what you don’t like, and anything you don’t want to do. Everybody is different, and something they consider normal might be totally out of the question for you, or vice versa. It’s important to communicate during first date sex, as you haven’t had much time to get to know one another.

4. Have realistic expectations

Yes, in romance novels and movies, the first sexual encounter between two people who only recently met is often gratifying and steamy. And, sometimes, having sex on the first date IRL can be this way too. 

More commonly though, first date sex is a little clumsy and awkward. After all, you don’t know much about the person and you’re both trying to figure out one another’s bodies and preferences. If you assume that there might be a few hiccups along the way, you’re more likely to have a great sexual experience.

5. Keep an open mind

First date sex can open the doors to a longer relationship, or it can close them. If the chemistry in the bedroom is fantastic, you can bet there’ll be more sex to come further down the line. On the other hand, if the whole thing was a dud, you may well (mutually or otherwise) decide to leave it there.

This can be an awkward scenario. But, aside from laying out your relationship hopes beforehand (which can be a little intense for a first date), there’s not much you can do. Sometimes sex leads to something more, sometimes it doesn’t. At the very least, you can go into the next first date sex encounter with this notion firmly lodged in your mind.

6. Don’t forget the protection

Yes, it may sound obvious to some but we thought it was still worth mentioning anyway. Protection is incredibly important, especially if you’re sleeping with someone on the first date. Sexually transmitted infections are fairly common, and using protection can help to safeguard both you and your date. 

If your date doesn’t want to use a condom, it’s important to keep your resolve: Without a condom, sex ain’t happening.

First Date Sex Can Be Amazing if You Go About It the Right Way

Sex is great! We can probably all agree on that. Not only is it good for your health, but it’s also one of the most intimate things you can do with another person. But, as always, there are a few important aspects that help to make the experience special. 

Always ensure that you’re being honest, communicating, and remaining respectful. There’s nothing wrong with first date sex, but bearing the above advice in mind will help to ensure you’re enjoying the experience in the best way possible. Good luck!

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