How to Make Your Sex Life Great Again

couple laughing together in bed and improving their sex life

Whether your sex life is just okay or on the rocks, there are many things you can do to get it back on track. It’s always important to keep in mind that your sexual well-being is balanced alongside your mental, physical, and emotional health.

We’ll take you through some basic steps to lighting the flame again. From talking to your partner, having a look at your health and relationship dynamics and your own understanding of yourself as a sexual being and openness to try new things, we’re here to help you make your sex life great again.

Communicate with your partner

Talking more is never a bad thing. We need to go beyond the everyday chat here and go deeper. Sharing our innermost thoughts and feelings with our partner on a regular basis is what creates intimacy. True intimacy through communication increases our sexual intimacy, which in turn makes our sex lives better.

So how do we communicate effectively? Open and honest conversations are required. We must tell our partner what we expect and desire in the bedroom. Unmet expectations hurt your relationship, but it’s impossible for your partner to know what those expectations are unless you tell them.

This isn’t the time to be insensitive. Communicate your feelings tactfully to your partner. Talking about what you both expect and how to get there opens up lines of communication and lessens the stigma attached to conversations about sex and desires.

Good health for a good sex life

If something about your health is affecting your sex life, talk to your partner about it. Taking certain medications can cause dryness, erectile dysfunction, and decreased libido. There’s no shame in experiencing these side effects. But we should never allow our partner to think it’s something they’re doing wrong. Be honest and open when communicating topics about your health and explain the issue to your partner, if they don’t already know.

Side effects can be troubling, but you should never stop taking a prescribed medication without first talking with your doctor. Express your concerns and ask if there’s anything you can do to get relief.

Your diet and exercise routines also affect your sex life, and getting healthy can be a big booster. Eating a healthy and balanced diet keeps our bodies feeling good. Engaging in physical activity at least 30 minutes a day, five days a week, helps reduce stress and gives your body energy. The more energy you have the more likely you are to want to engage in sexual activity, and the more feel-good hormones you will have. 

Get to know yourself

No one knows us better than we know ourselves. When it comes to sex and what we desire in the bedroom, it’s up to us to communicate what we expect to our partner. Before we can do this, first, we need to figure it out for ourselves.

A good way to get in touch with ourselves is to try moving our bodies in a new and different way. One survey found that couples who were sexually inactive were prone to feelings of sadness and felt unattractive. An interesting way to reclaim your sexual prowess could be trying yoga or dancing.

Touching ourselves is a great place to start learning what we enjoy sexually. Masturbation may seem counterproductive when it comes to making your sex life better, but knowing what turns you on is key to telling your partner what does and does not work for you.

Consider what fantasies repeat themselves in your mind when you’re engaging in solo play. Do those desires translate to something you want to experience with your partner? The deeper you dive into your own sexual desires, the easier it will become to communicate them to your partner.

Give your relationship attention 

Other areas of your relationship with your partner are important when it comes to your sex life. If you’re finding yourself arguing over finances, stressing over important decisions, or generally not getting along, these things need to be addressed. You may find outside issues have more to do with your sex life than you expect.

Relationships take work. There are myriad facets to every relationship and they all require a balance in order for things to function like a well-oiled machine. Just like your washing machine when it’s overloaded, if one part of your relationship is out of whack, the entire machine will be off-kilter until it’s balanced again.

Analyze your relationship as a whole, together, outside the bedroom. When you go into this conversation, leave blame and anger outside. This is a time to gently discuss what else could be affecting your sex life and begin the conversation to become whole and happy again.

Try new things, it can be fun

Adding a little spice to your relationship can be just the thing to make your sex life great again. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, though that’s always an option! Talk to your partner about your fantasies and listen to theirs. You might find they meet right in the middle.

Consider adding sex toys to your routine. There are so many options for men, women, and couples on the market today, you’re sure to find a product that will add something unique to your experience you can both enjoy.

Adult movies can be fun to watch together for ideas or just a bit of foreplay. Choose something silly if that’s your thing, or you can choose an instructional kind of movie if you’re looking to learn something new.

Make sex a priority – it matters 

Sex is wonderful and an important part of any relationship. If you find yourself in a place where sex just doesn’t seem the same as it was in the beginning, that doesn’t mean the love you share with your partner is waning. There will always be times throughout a relationship where the sex slows down and that’s okay. Making it a priority, there are multiple ways to bring back the mojo and make your sex life really great again! 

Demeter DeLune

Demeter is a writer and sex positive blogger who’s been practicing what she preaches for longer than she’d like to admit. She’s the friend you have to warn your other friends about and channels that into her writing. She’s given advice all over the world, but still can’t get her cats to listen.

Discover more about her on her Twitter or website.

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