Our bedrooms should be used for two things: sleeping and sex. It’s the one room in the house that you and your partner can find solace, connection, and romance. However, that isn’t always the case for many couples who may see the bedroom as an office, a television watching space, a storage room, or a dining area. When the boudoir turns into more than just a room for sleep and sex, it can impede on a couple’s sex life.
Here are FIVE common bedroom distractions and how to get rid of them:
Clutter & ‘stuff’: Take a look around your bedroom. Do you feel surrounded by piles of papers, clothes and miscellaneous crap? Get rid of it all. Psychotherapist, Dr. Tammy Nelson says, “Not only does clutter clog your living space, it also suffocates sexual energy.” Go through the piles. If the clutter doesn’t bring you joy, get rid of it or put it somewhere out of site and away from your bedroom. “You will notice when you move the clutter out, you have more physical and visual space, which will allow you to breathe better. Breathing is important for lovemaking,” she says.
Electronics & cords: Having televisions, phones, and other electronics in the bedroom also means you probably have distracting and tangled cords running everywhere. Your first intent should be to get rid of the electronics. If they must stay, at least hide the cords. Nelson says, “Electronic equipment is not sexy and has been shown to drain the energy from people who are nearby and can interfere with sleep.” Find a way to tuck cords under and behind furniture. “If you can’t part with the television, make sure you turn it OFF before falling asleep and NEVER watch the news or stressful shows in your bedroom,” she says.
The wrong décor: Look around your room. Is it relaxing or does the wall décor, colors, accents, and lighting stress you out? “Lighting and smell are two important aspects of creating a romantic setting,” says Nelson. Lighting should be soft and smells should be subtle. This can be as simple as adding a candle or changing a light bulb.
Choose photos and pictures wisely, says lifestyle expert Ellen Whitehurst. “This means no pictures of your parents, your friends, or your kids in the bedroom, as you wouldn’t want them watching you getting intimate,” she says.
Dirty laundry: Interior designer, Andrew Rubenoff, says “the most important tip to make your room more romantic is to remove or hide anything in your bedroom that doesn’t show respect for you or your partner.” In other words, pick up your dirty laundry from the floor. If you wouldn’t want company to see it, assume your partner doesn’t want to see it either.
“It’s easy to get too comfortable. Just because you’re married or living together, imagine that you are newly dating again. Would you want them seeing your underwear and dirty clothes strewn around?” Asks Nelson.
Intense colors: It’s easy to go overboard with the wrong color. Just because your favorite color may be light blue, doesn’t mean you should make the bedroom look like a baby’s room. Having too much of the wrong color could turn people off from sex. Having one painted wall may be all you need. Nelson says, “Pick a color that is warm and compliments your complexion.” Reds, browns and earthy tones are good. “Cool colors will make you look sallow, warm colors will make your skin look warm and rosy,” she says. Making your bedroom more romantic and sexy should make you look sexy, too.