As long as humans have existed, we’ve debated about what the main signs of attraction are. The search for meaningful connections is one of the most enjoyable parts of life. And, a huge chunk of the dizzying excitement of it all comes from trying to figure out whether the person you have feelings for likes you back.
At times, this can feel like an impossible guessing game. Fortunately, however, there are dozens of signs of attraction to keep an eye out for – so you can feel sure the person likes you before you ask them out!
Below, we’ve split the signs up into physical and behavioral, as some signs of deep attraction are innate responses within the body, while others are more deliberate. Check out our list below to discover more!
8 Physical Signs of Attraction to Look Out For
Some of the most intense attraction signs of all are physical – the ones we don’t even realize we’re doing. Below, we’ve laid out eight of the top ones that you should be on the lookout for!
1. They blush
It sounds cliché, but it’s true. When we’re in the presence of someone we’re attracted to, we tend to feel excited, and this rush of adrenaline shows in our face, as it flushes with blood.
2. Their pupils dilate
Feeling excitement and attraction also releases the hormone oxytocin. This is often referred to as the “love hormone” as it’s primarily responsible for our feelings of love. When oxytocin is released, our pupils grow. Just double-check whether you’re sitting in a dark place before you take this as a surefire sign!
3. The pitch and tone of their voice changes
One of the most powerful signs of male attraction is when a man deepens his voice. Conversely, women take on a slightly higher pitch when talking to somebody they’re interested in. Altering our tones in this way may subconsciously help us to stand out from our surroundings and other conversations.
4. Their skin is glowing
Now, if their skin is phosphorescent you might want to refer them to a dermatologist. But, a subtle shine to their visage is a sign they’re into you. When we’re attracted to someone, our pores open to secrete oil, thereby releasing pheromones. When this happens, our skin looks shinier. Kind of gross, kind of sweet.
5. Their body language is open and inviting
Typical signs of closed-off body language would be folded arms, crossed legs, and generally taking up a smaller space. Open, inviting, and flirty body language is a strong sign that the person is really into you.
6. They’re facing you
Perhaps a slightly obvious one, but worth mentioning anyway. If their pelvis/stomach (behavioral experts argue as to which) is angled towards you, it’s a sign they’re into you and giving you their full attention.
Conversely, if you’re sitting facing them but they’re sitting side on facing outwards and checking out the waiting staff, it’s probably not a great sign.
7. They’re mirroring you
When it comes to intense signs of attraction, this is a pretty common one. When we like someone, we eventually begin, subconsciously, to mirror their movements. This might be the way someone is sitting, their gestures when talking, or small mannerisms like playing with their hair.
8. They’re leaning in close
Again, this isn’t always an easy one to spot. If your date and/or the object of your affections is leaning in when you’re talking, it’s a sign they’re fully invested in the conversation and are subconsciously positioning themselves closer to you.
18 Behavioral Signs of Attraction That Hint They Might Be Into You
There are dozens of behavioral signs someone is attracted to you. Some of these are detectable a mile off, while others can be a little trickier to catch. Below, we’ve outlined 18 of the most common behavioral signs that someone is attracted to you.
1. They laugh at your jokes (even the terrible ones)
Some people just have a low threshold when it comes to humor, this is true. However, most of the time, when we’re attracted to someone, we giggle and laugh at pretty much whatever they say. If you’re wondering whether someone likes you, you could always try dropping a deliberately lame pun or cheesy pick-up line to see if they chuckle. If they do, it’s a good sign they’re into you.
2. They find any reason to touch you
Touch is an enormous part of flirtation. Don’t take it as a sign all by itself though, as some people are simply more touchy-feely than others. By and large, however, if your date is constantly finding excuses to touch you – brushing against you while you walk, patting your leg when you laugh together, putting their hand on the small of your back while you go through a door – it’s a pretty strong sign that they’re attracted to you.
3. They’re very aware of their appearance
When we’re intensely attracted to someone, we often become more self-conscious of the way we look. If they keep adjusting their hair and clothes, it’s likely their currently experiencing a little self-consciousness themselves.
4. They contribute enthusiastically to the conversation
When we’re into someone, we do not want the conversation to dry up. We want to keep talking for as long as possible to give our personalities a chance to shine through. If it’s only you filling the silences, it might be a one-sided affair. If they’re asking questions and seem genuinely interested, you may be onto a winner.
5. They’re not distracted by other people
We all get distracted sometimes – it’s normal. But, if your date’s eyes are constantly wandering onto other people around you, it’s generally a sign they’re not interested and may even be looking for other prospects.
6. They don’t use their phone
First date etiquette dictates that using a phone for anything more than a quick text is, by and large, impolite – particularly if you’re mid-story. If they’re texting while you’re trying to tell them a hilarious anecdote, it’s likely a non-starter.
7. They look at you when they think you won’t notice
Little do they know, peripheral vision exists. If you clock them ogling you out of the corner of your eye, it can be a sign of deep attraction and a good hint that they like what they see.
8. They hold your gaze
This depends on how shy your crush is, of course. If they’re an introvert they might not feel comfortable with sustained eye contact. As a general rule, however, any eye contact that lasts slightly longer than what feels normal is a good sign someone is attracted to you. The eyes say things the mouth doesn’t dare.
9. They’re all smiles
Everybody looks nicer when they smile. It shows we’re happy, comfortable, and having a pleasant time. If they’re smiling constantly, you’re doing something right.
10. They’re fidgeting
We’re not talking distracted fidgeting here, that is, scrolling Instagram and quaffing tequila shots. We’re talking more about nervous energy manifesting itself. If they’re peeling the label of their beer bottle or plucking blades of grass, it could mean they’re trying to conceal how much they like you. This is a strong behavioral sign of attraction to look out for.
11. They draw attention to their best bits
For men, this might mean they cross their arms behind their head, giving you a lasting look at their biceps, or it could be a not-so-subtle rubbing of their pecs. The signs a woman is attracted to you could include touching their lips, hair, or collarbone in a sultry fashion.
12. They’re licking their lips
Definitely more of an overt sign this one. If somebody’s thinking about leaning in for that first date kiss, guess what, they don’t want to have dry lips.
13. They’re teasing you
By teasing we’re talking more ‘playfully mocking your lack of wine knowledge’ and less ‘flushing your head down a toilet.’ Gentle teasing is a sign of flirtation that continues right the way from our childhood into adulthood – just with a little more wit.
14. They compliment you
Compliments sound like an excruciatingly obvious sign someone is attracted to you. But it’s worth being a little wary with this one. For guys, for example, If we’re with someone we really like, we may be too shy to offer compliments to a woman, whereas, with people in the friend zone, we feel confident enough to be liberal with them.
This is a hard one to pin down, so combine it with other signs of attraction to confirm that the person is definitely into you.
15. They remove the physical barriers between you
Whether you’re sitting on a park bench or in a restaurant, if they drop their bag in the middle of you both it might not be a great indicator that they’re thinking of getting close to you. But, if they deliberately clear any items that lie between you, they’re subtly making a path to be nearer to you.
16. They ask to make plans
If somebody likes you, they’ll generally make plans with you (although some people prefer to play the dangerous game of hard-to-get). If they message you out of the blue and suggest meeting up, they’re likely into you. If there’s radio silence after you suggest a day out, maybe… not so much.
17. They’re attentive
They open doors for you, they take your chair out for you, they hand you a serviette if you need one, they notice if something changes in your expression. Attentiveness means they’re paying attention to you and your needs, and they want to make sure you’re happy and enjoying yourself. It might just be politeness – but often it’s a sign they like you.
18. They remember things you said
It might be the name of your dog, your birthday, or the last book you read. If they’re always able to recall everything you’ve told them, it’s a sign your chats are being logged away in a special section of their memories.
Spotting Attraction: The Bottom Line
There’s no one single sign on this list that, by itself, could categorically prove somebody is flirting with you. But, the next time you’re out on a date and looking for signs of attraction, try to look for a combination of physical and behavioral signs – eye contact, laughter, body language, compliments – to really figure it out. Good luck, and happy dating! Go get ‘em.