You’ve probably shared your feelings with a crush and been rejected. It hurts initially, but you get over it. What’s worse is withholding your feelings, only to find out later that your crush liked you too. If you don’t act when there’s romantic tension, it fizzles. And there’s nothing worse than a missed opportunity. But recognizing the signs of attraction (or figuring out if there are signs at all) isn’t always easy. Sometimes you may think you’re getting a vibe from someone, when they’re just being friendly. Other times, you may completely miss the fact that someone’s trying to get closer to you.
So how do you know if someone’s attracted to you? Well, there are a few proven signs to look out for.
1. Frequent physical contact
If someone frequently bumps you when walking or touches your arm in conversation, there’s a good chance they’re interested. Nonsexual physical touch is a common way people form bonds. With a crush, the frequency of this kind of touching increases. If you’re still not sure if they’re interested, a good trick is to compare how often they make contact with you to how often they make contact with others. If they’re locking eyes with you more often than not, it’s a good indicator there’s interest there.
2. Constant communication
People are social creatures, and who we spend our time connecting with speaks volumes. If your crush contacts you often via text, or chats you up in person, they enjoy your company, plain and simple. When you’re attracted to someone, it’s hard to stop thinking about them. Constant contact with your crush is one way to scratch that “can’t get enough of them” feeling. The more frequently they contact you, the more likely it is they’re interested.
3. Attempting to make plans
Does it seem like they’re always saying “we should hang out?” If so, it’s a very good sign your crush has feelings for you. When hints (or outright offers) of hanging out are dropped, it means they’re looking to have a private moment with you, hoping the sparks will fly. Take them up on one of these offers and see where things go.
4. Laughing and smiling
Laughter is a common way we build rapport with people we like. When we like someone, we tend to laugh even when things aren’t funny. Many studies cite that when we’re attracted to someone, we laugh more. Have you ever cracked a joke to a crush that was received way better than you’d hoped? Could be they’re into you.
When you like someone, you’ll go above and beyond for them. This can come in small acts of thoughtfulness like bringing them their favorite treats or just checking in during situations of minor distress. If your crush asks about your sick cat that you mentioned once three weeks ago, there’s a good chance that they’re interested.
Mirroring is the act of copying someone else’s behavior. This can include small gestures, as well as speech patterns or nonphysical behavior. Scientists say that this is a good way to build rapport with someone. This is a sign that might slip under the radar if you’re not careful, so pay attention. Are they following suit after you scratched your nose? What about after you just snorted? If the answers are yes, it might be time to make your move.
7. Asking a lot of questions
When we’re interested in a subject, we ask a lot of questions. When we’re interested in someone, well, we ask a lot of questions too. If your crush is into you, they’ll want to get to know you. Conversation is one of the best ways to get to know someone, and questions are one of the best ways to keep a conversation going and show interest in the other person.
8. They point their body towards you
Body language is one of the best indicators of a person’s feelings towards you. It’s good etiquette to turn your body toward the person you’re speaking with, and it’s the same in flirting. If your crush’s body is facing you during most of your conversations, there’s a good chance that you’ve caught their interest.
9. Removing Barriers
This one’s pretty interesting. According to recent studies, if your crush is attracted to you, they’ll remove barriers between you when you’re spending time together. Now these aren’t actual barriers, but symbolic ones. They’ll make coffee cups, purses, cell phones, and other things that clutter the space between your conversation disappear. If they remove the items between, there’s a good chance of interest here.
These are some of the most common signs of attraction that may help you know when to make a move and let the other person know you’re interested. Remember that these are signs and not definitive communications of interest. You’ll have to take these in context and use your best judgement to see if all these variables taken together add to a picture of attraction.