Soulmates are so 2000 and late.
If you’re plugged into the online romance sphere, you’ve probably heard of a twin flame. If you haven’t, let me catch you up to speed.
Experts say a twin flame are one of your many potential soulmates—kind of an ultimate one and only.
By definition you have only one twin flame. And while your twin flame should be your (almost) exact match, this can pose its own challenges because, as you may know from experience—opposites attract.
You’ll know when you’ve met them because upon it’ll feel like you’ve known them your whole life. Your twin flame will challenge you. You’ll share a type of love that isn’t a typical Disney romance but a realistic beautiful passion that comes with unconditional love and challenges.
Some important things to note is that your twin flame may not be a romantic connection—it could be a deep friendship. There’s also the possibility that you may not have a twin flame at all, or worse you never meet them (after all, one person in the entire world sounds like crazy odds).
The idea of working to attract your twin flame might sound a little crazy, but realistically, aren’t we sort of working to attract an ideal partner in many ways—whether that means going to the gym a few times a week or going to therapy to be ready for the next relationship that comes our way?
Here are some tips for how to attract your twin flame. While the idea of a soulmate may be pretty standard these days, the idea of a twin flame is pretty spiritual, so if I get a little “wooh-wooh” on you—don’t be surprised.
1. Make Peace with Past Relationships
According to Anne Wade, founder of The Soulmate Dance, the first step to attracting your twin flame is to make peace with your past relationships. Think Ariane Grande’s, “Thank U, Next” for reference. You want to be grateful for all of your exes, but also stop longing for them or idealizing them. Reassure yourself that the best is yet to come without holding any animosity towards past relationships—and forgive those partners who didn’t treat you right (at least, internally, I’m not saying you have to text them and tell them you’re no longer mad).
If you need help with this, therapy is a great resource to talk out any baggage you might be carrying from past relationships. You may also consider journaling to get out any thoughts on these subjects.
2. Make Peace with Yourself
Once you make peace with past relationships, you want to make peace with yourself. This can be tied to past relationships—perhaps you’re unconfident in relationships due to an ex that cheated on you—but at the end of the day it reflects back on work you can do on yourself. Work that a partner probably won’t ever be able to fix for you.
Everyone has their own way of clearing up old baggage, regaining positivity, and being the best, most confident, truest version of themselves.
Again, you may want to try therapy. You can also try meditating, journaling, and doing research into psychology to understand why you may feel a certain way when it comes to yourself and your relationships. For women, a great book I recommend reading is The Wild Woman’s Way by Michaela Boehm. You may also want to experiment with energy healing through reiki or a shaman—or try physical healing methods such as acupuncture or cupping.
3. Try Visualization or Manifestation
While I’ve never experimented with this method myself, many experts on twin flames and even friends of mine swear by manifestation and visualization to find their ideal partner and relationships—or their twin flame.
To learn more about manifestation, you may want to read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, which delves into the law of attraction.
Spiritual blogger Christine of Spirit Radical explains that she made the intention to meet her twin flame, and said a “heartfelt prayer” to her potential twin flame, but then had to let it go completely in order to meet him.
I know this is an inconvenient path, but in my own life I’ve always experienced and stood by the cliché that “you’ll find love when you’re not looking for it,” and manifestation seems to echo this thinking.
4. Try Manifesting While Masturbating
If manifestation feels corny to you, perhaps try it while you’re pleasuring yourself.
I didn’t just make this up, by the way. Dr. Amanda Noelle wrote an entire article about how to touch yourself to attract your twin flame on her blog—she also made a video about it.
Essentially, she says that during our orgasmic state, our intentions reach the universe faster and we’re more consciously connected to our twin flame. While I have no way of judging how valid this is, manifesting while masturbating sounds fun—and she also gives a good qualifying tip: that you should never assume you know who your twin flame is unless they’re 100% committed to you.
5. Just Do You
While the idea of attracting a twin flame involves some spiritual elements, this last tip is similar to the general advice you likely get when trying to find a partner: do the things you enjoy.
Your twin flame should be so similar to you that it’s scary. Therefore, if you’re obsessed with yoga, your twin flame is probably obsessed with yoga—so why not hit up some local yoga studios to do something different and raise the potential of crossing paths with your twin flame?
Once you do the “hard” work of clearing up old traumas and making peace with yourself and others, the work is cut out for you. Just live your life in the most positive and beautiful way you can, and trust the universe to bring you the love you deserve.