Am I in Love? 3 Things That Point to YES!

A women wondering "Am I in love?" as she dramatically kisses her boyfriend in front of a neon sign.

Being in love is one of the best feelings. As soon as the object of your affection leaves the room, you miss them, you’re overjoyed with happiness when they call or text you, and you are caught smiling when someone mentions their name. It’s a magical mix of happy, excited, nervous, and warm feelings that washes over you whenever they’re near. Whether you have or have not experienced feelings of love before, every time it’s different and every time it feels so new. But that’s why it might not be easy to spot the signs. How do you know if your feelings go beyond simply liking someone and enter into love?

Here are 3 signs that you’re may be in love:

1. Being in love shows in your words and actions.
Your emotions feel heightened when you think about this person. In other words, you care strongly for them. Seeing them smile after you say something encouraging or meaningful becomes one of life’s biggest achievements for you. Being in love means that you share your partner’s joy, sadness, anxiety, hunger, thoughts, or even just their energy.

In addition, you start to factor this other person into the decisions you make about your life. Some examples are as small as shopping for two in the grocery store or planning to go to a social event, or as big as traveling together, going to weddings, or knowing you want to move in together.

Another way your actions reflect you’re in love is by being fully present in their lives. This means being there for them when they’re feeling vulnerable, attending a holiday party together, or listening without judging when they’re talking.

2. You fully accept the person you’re in love with.
Things that would normally be deal-breakers for you don’t seem to matter so much anymore. Their best traits, as well as their so-called flaws, are all things that you appreciate about them.

Fully accepting the person you’re in love with also plays a role in how you view them in a long-term commitment. For example, if you’re ready to move in with your partner but notice that he or she is an extreme germaphobe, and you’re the less tidy person of the duo, then this may be something that can cause conflict. Nevertheless, you don’t view this as a red flag, but something to work on. Being in love involves some compromise, but a lot of loving the person for who they are.

However, this doesn’t mean that you agree with all of your partner’s actions, beliefs or behaviors, but that you care about them enough to accept their independent thoughts and feelings. Just as you can accept your best friend’s obnoxious yelling or inability to order food without asking for substitutions, you may be more willing to accept your partner’s loud chewing or snoring out of love.

3. It’s more than just a physical attraction.
Some people get the feeling of lust confused for being in love. By definition, lust means you have a very strong sexual desire for someone. When you’re in love with someone, it goes beyond sexual desire. In many relationships, being physical isn’t a factor for why you love that person. When you have these strong emotional feelings for your partner, talking with them about almost anything that comes to mind increases the deepest moments you two share. A person in love will always look for ways to build intimacy and trust, while a person who is in lust will look to build intimate feelings in short-term gratifying ways.

For many, being in love can be the changing point in a relationship. Your once vague view of the future becomes a lot clearer. Suddenly, you transition from thinking about what you need, to thinking about what you and your partner need. You feel safe and secure around this person, and you’re excited for what the future may hold.

Tori Glaude

Tori is a D.C. life coach on a mission to empower women to achieve their goals. Her debut book is entitled “Sour Grapes into Wine: How to Leave a Toxic Relationship to Create a Productive Lifestyle.”

When she’s not writing or working in television production, Tori enjoys kickboxing and trying out new restaurants.

You can reach out to Tori directly at her website here.

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