Falling out of love happens all the time, even when we don’t want it to. Sometimes, if a relationship isn’t well maintained, you may find your eyes wandering or thinking if you’re better off with someone else. And if you’re wondering, am I still in love, chances are you may not be.
People tend to get comfortable in relationships, which is good and bad. It’s nice to know that your partner likes you for who you are (yoga pants and all) but it can easily turn negative if you’re constantly unhappy, but too nervous to end things. If you’ve asked yourself ‘am I still in love?’ before, you may be wondering if the path you’re on is the right one.
Every relationship goes through twists and turns, but here are five signs that you might have fallen out of love. Luckily, if you’re hoping to rekindle your spark, now’s the time.
Am I Still in Love? Signs That You May Not Be
You’ve developed a crush on a coworker
It might not even be someone you’re physically attracted to. You just enjoy the presence of someone else and feel a little nervous around them. This could be a sign that you’re ready to start something new. But, it can also be a sign that you’re just bored in your relationship.
Instead of fantasizing over some else, try planning a vacation or book a spa trip with your significant other. Plan an activity the two of you can look forward to. It’s okay to have brief crushes on other people, but if it’s someone who you actively think about more than your significant other or someone you could envision cheating on your significant other with, you’re in the danger zone.
They have a little quirk that annoys you to no end
Maybe it’s the way they chew or the way they seem to interrupt conversations. It’s something that’s a natural habit that’s been occurring all along but has only started bothering you now. In the grand scheme of things, these quirks are very small. But still, they’ve managed to become a point of contention.
Instead of starting an argument about it, try and talk to them. Pinpoint yourself as being the problem, and try phrase it positively. Simply saying ‘I hate the way you chew’ is hurtful and can lead to a blow-up. Rather say something like ‘I’ve been weirdly distracted by eating noises recently, so I’m going to leave the room’. If your anger doesn’t go away with a little bit of distance and communication, you may have larger problems at hand.
You’re not looking forward to events with them
Going to concerts should be a fun time, so if you’re dreading your upcoming event, think about why. Do you know you’re going to get frustrated by their driving, or the fact that they sing along during the show? Are you afraid someone else might see you there with him? Or even worse, is your partner the type of person to make a public scene, especially if alcohol is involved?
Your significant other is supposed to make these things more enjoyable. If you hate being out with them, the relationship was over a long time ago.
You use the phrase “I guess it is what it is”
Not every partner will be able to read your mind, and you shouldn’t go into a relationship expecting them to. But if you’ve asked them to take out the trash ten times, and they’ve forgotten about it ten times, it’s not high on their priority list. If you just accept it and take over the chore for them, resentment will build.
Adult relationships can be complex. But if you’re willing to accept someone who doesn’t even listen to you or respect your wants and needs, you’ve mentally checked out of the relationship. Suggest going to counseling to try and improve your communication if you want to salvage this.
You’re at war with their parents
When your significant other sides with their parents over you, you might not necessarily be asking yourself ‘am I still in love?’. Instead, you may be wondering ‘does my significant other prioritize their parents over me?’.
If the relationship is fairly new, or the two of you are still in high school, you can give them a pass on this. But if you’re in a serious relationship and considering marriage, you need to develop boundaries.
If this person is constantly putting their mom’s needs over yours, you’re going to end up with a lot of resentment. The more it happens, the more you may abhor any visit you have with them. And, that might make you fall out of love since this is supposed to be a supportive partnership. Instead of telling your partner ‘I hate your mom’, tell them ‘I’d really like to make a plan that accommodates both of us’.
Relationships require dedication, work, and the need to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. When you have an argument, try to see where they’re coming from.
But just know that if you’re at the point where you dread being with them, or you’re tired and bored with the relationship, it was over long ago. It could be time to face up to reality and realize that there are more compatible people out there that’ll help you grow as a person.